Elderese

The Elder has been saying the FUNNIEST things this week. I kept telling the stories over and over again so I would make sure I would remember them to journal on them.

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It a Shopping Center parking lot, while looking for a parking space, out of the blue he says,

"Mommy, you need LimeAway."
"I do?"
"Yes....for the germs...it gets the germs..."
"It does? where did you see that?" as I'm looking around to see if maybe there was a sign in the front of Walmart advertising it.
"On TV"

He also wants an "Aqua Globe" on his list. "It's only 19.95, mommy."

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Earlier this week, The Elder got into a fight on the bus. I'm sure it wasn't a big knock down brawl seeing that everyone is in 5-point harness car seats. But nonetheless, it was a safety hazard. I immediately called The Teacher to let her know (had to leave a message) and she addressed Bus Safety and Respect for Services the very next morning (evidently it was common in the class at this time). I was trying to get him to express himself so I knew exactly what happened, and after about 10-15 minutes of trying to decode it I came to the conclusion that a girl was using a seatbelt (perhaps to help?) and it was choking him (maybe violating his personal space?) so he hit her (from frustration and/or panic?).

"Did she hit you back?
"No, just my front."

Love that literal-ness. But this is a serious issue and I'm glad that it was addressed in the classroom too.

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The Elder was looking through a booklet of none other than Thomas and Friends characters. He was reading each of their names and the names of the buildings and sets. Then he looks at a character named Bulgy and says, "what's that say?"

"You know who that is...you have one downstairs. See if you can sound it out."
He looks at it intensely and blurts out, "Boogie?"
He shocked himself that it came out of his mouth and began laughing hysterically! He kept saying it over and over again (replaying the scene that just happened) and laughed harder and harder.

Fast forward to when The Hub gets home from work.
"Pick up your Thomas booklet off the floor before it gets lost."
"I want these on my list."
"Oh oh, tell daddy what you said!!"
He looks at Daddy and says, "I want these on my list."

That literal-ness again. Never ceases to entertain me.

"No I mean what you said earlier today that was so funny."
You could see him scanning his brain to figure out what I was talking about.
"Do you mean.......BOOGIE??"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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I was sniffing something unpleasant in the air. Usually The Younger will proudly announce his passing of gas by laughing as he exclaims "EXCUSE ME!" But no one spoke up which could only mean it was The Elder. This is how "normal" he is getting:

"Who passed gas?"
"No one," says The Elder, looking mighty guilty.
To the Younger, "Did you pass gas?"
"No." (not old enough to lie yet)
"Well someone did because I can smell it!"
The Elder says very matter-of-factly, "I think it was you."

He immediately had a smirk on his face and looked at me through the corner of his eyes as if to say "I wonder if she bought that?"

I immediately told 2 people, The AP and then I called The Hub to tell him!

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"Mommy, what's two plus tuba?"

We play the math game all the time, so it wasn't usual for him to quiz us on simple addition and subtraction equations.

"Two plus TUBA?"
"Yes...what is two plus tuba?"
"I don't know, hunny."
"Four-ba!"

It caught me off guard because the only jokes he has ever told were knock knock jokes and they weren't very good ones at that.

Then he turns to The Gma, "Grandma, what's two plus tuba?
"Um...Four-ba?"
"You're right!"

"Mommy, what's two plus tuba?" "Four-ba"
"What's two plus tuba?" "Four-ba."
"Ask me!" "Ok, what's two plus tuba?" "Four-ba" as he is cracking up at himself.

This went back and forth between the three of us for sometime, until I finally said,
"Knock Knock."
"Who's there?" he faithfully replies.
"Two plus tuba."
"Two plus tuba who?"
"Four-ba!"

He didn't laugh, he just said, "That's not right, mommy. That's a knock knock joke."

My bad.

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We went to a restaurant yesterday and both kids were wild. I said, "Who remembers the restaurant rules?" They both had blank looks on their faces, probably because we have never established formal rules. We would just say, Sit down, eat your food, stop throwing crayons, drink your own drink, etc.

So I got pen and paper and as we were waiting for the food, we drew up this list together:

Restaurant Rules
  1. Sit on your bottom
  2. Be quiet (he came up with that one all by himself!)
  3. No banging
  4. Eat your food
  5. Do not waste
  6. No fighting (another one he said without prompting)
  7. Leave packets alone (he actually said "Do not play with those things" pointing at the sugar packets)
  8. Be careful to not spill drinks and food (originally he said, "Do not spill your drinks," but you know, accidents happen.)
  9. Do not play with knives.
  10. Do not stand up on the seats ("Do not do this," as he stands on the seat.)
  11. Do not throw things
  12. Do not bother other people (that one was totally my rule)
  13. Keep your shoes and socks on.
We ran out of space or we probably could have gone all day. It was really cute because after I would write down a rule, he would read it, and then I'd say, "What else?" and he would raise his hand high in the air and say, "OOOO, I know!" and then wait for me to call on him.

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We have finally gone back to the ticket system that worked so well when The Elder was potty training. He does really well with rules obviously. I've spoken with a few people about how they use the system and am excited about setting the formal rules regarding it.

First I asked him, "What is the thing you want MOST on your list?"
He starts naming a slew of things.
"No, I mean, what is the ONE thing you want FIRST on your list?"
"Batter batter baseball"
"Really? Are you sure?"
"Yes, just like the one at Colton's house."

He went into further detail describing it in only the way he can (I love it!). We went to a birthday party not too long ago and I was actually surprise that he played with it as long as he did. And stuck with it even though he kept missing the ball. I think he really like the mechanics of how it worked over actually hitting the ball. Anyhoo, I was excited that it was a sport and physical game toy that he wanted the most, and especially the fact that it had NOTHING to do with trains!

So this weekend we are going to make goal posters and rules so he can earn tickets to buy the toy.

On the way to church this morning he is looking in an ad magazine for our city and sees an ad for The Bounce House.

"Oh, mommy, I want this on my list. The slide. The biggest blue slide."
"That's very expensive, it would take a lot of tickets to earn that."
"But I want that."
"Where would we put it? It is so big!"
"I think outside."
"It would be better to just wait for the next birthday party."
"But I want that on my list."
"Well I thought you wanted the Batter Batter Baseball. Which do you want?"

He chose the Batter batter baseball. (Whew!)

So then I look at The Younger and ask him,
"What is the ONE thing you want FIRST on your list?"
"The big blue slide."

Geez, bad timing to ask that!

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At OfficeMax we let The Kiddos carry the smaller baskets (one each) instead of getting a push cart. We went around the place looking for something in particular that The Gma was going to get for them, one had Thomas on it and the other had Dora on it.

Both kids stopped on the "Teacher" aisle and just went crazy with the "I want this on my list." The Younger even had 4 bottles of glue in his basket already. He helped me put them away as I explained to him that he could put them on his list.

The Elder also wanted a Calendar on his list, a retail OPEN/CLOSED sign on his list, a "Employees must wash their hands" sign on his list...

Then The Elder finds something he wants and looks at me and asks,
"Mommy, do I put this in the basket or on my list?"
"On your list," I say with out skipping a beat.
"OK" as he puts it back on the shelf.

Well done.

"Ok, it's time to check out."
"I like checking out. I can put the groceries on the thing."

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He has come so far!


7 Responses to "Elderese"

Sustenance Scout (visit their site)

You are a genius mom with the tickets program, Jen! Love all the fun stories...also appreciate the advice about letting go of perfectionism for those of us who get just a tad overwhelmed when things aren't exactly organized. And kudos on the balancing act!! Hugs from Denver, K.

Niksmom (visit their site)

Boogies? Yep, you're raising boys all right! LOL

These all made me smile and laugh. You must have a very happy expression a lot lately. :-)

Marla (visit their site)

So many cute sayings! Great rule list for dinners out. M loves lists like that.

Bonnie (visit their site)

We love lists in our home too!
:-)

Gwendolyn's Gifts (visit their site)

Too cute!

Susan (visit their site)

Very impressive!

GFCF Mommy (visit their site)

These are great! Makes an Aspie Momma proud!

Katherine