Elderese Part VI

Visit The Hub's blog for other recent funny Elderese moments...
Here's mine for the day...

Me: Do you know when your birthday is?

The Elder: July Wednesday 8th

Me: Are you sure? What day is today?

The Elder: Monday.

Me: Monday the what?

The Elder: Um...1, 2, 3, 4, 5..........6. It's Monday July 6th.

Me: I think maybe the long weekend is throwing you off. Today is the 7th.

The Elder: (long pause and then light bulb) OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH my birthday is July Tuesday 8th.

Me: And is that yesterday?

The Elder: No (to the tune of duh) it is tomorrow!

Me: Do you know what happened on your birthday?

The Elder: I don't know.

Me: Before you were born you were inside my belly and it was very very big. Just like with your brother. Do you remember?

The Elder: I don't know.

Me: Remember he was in my belly and then I went to the hospital and he came out and you came to see me and I said, “This is your brother. Can you say hi?” And you said “Hi.”

The Elder: I don't know.

Me: It was when you were 2 years old.

The Elder: I don't know.

Me: Well when you were born, you were inside my belly and I went to the hospital on July 8th and I puuuuushed you out at 3:05pm.

(I could see him thinking, probably trying to visualize what I just described. I’m curious as to what he was actually imagining. Maybe one of Thomas trains shunting coal cars? Or me pushing him like he pushes his brother?)

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Me: Would you like a new brother or sister?

The Elder: I want a new brother just like me....how abouuuut......Joshua?

Me: Oh that is so sweet. I think he would like that.

The Elder: And we can do slip n slide. But you have to call Joshua and say, "Joshua, can you get your bathing suit please because we are going to have a race with THREE slide and THREE colors and when you say go, you race to get the flag and when you get there first you get the flag and then you go into the whirlpool...THREE whirlpools...there's 3 of them. Then you can go to OUR slip n slide with the hole.

I look at The Hub.

The Hub: Yeah, there's a hole in our slip n slide.

Just for the record, we are NOT planning on having any more children. It would be physiologically impossible. Well, at least 99.9% improbable.


3 Responses to "Elderese Part VI"

Niksmom (visit their site)

Hey, you just never know. I mean, you DID say there was hole in your Slip N Slide! ;-)

Jen P (visit their site)

trudat. That just killed the mood though! wink wink...

Kara Lovett (visit their site)

Joshua wanted to buy Eric and Ryan a slipping slide for their birthday, probably because he got one for Millie's birthday! Eric will have to come over and play on ours with him and teach him that game. We haven't tried it down the front yard, yet, but when we do, I am in on that!

See you tomorrow!