I hear the kids screaming and giggling and the scary pitter patter of feet across the hardwood...
I come out of my bedroom to the following. I didn't know whether to get upset or laugh. But since the housekeeper was in the house and hadn't gotten to the playroom yet, I figured I might as well fetch the camera and have fun with it. You can see them looking at me like, "Why isn't mommy yelling at us for doing this?"
Coming soon...either a post and/or a link to The Hub's post (whoever gets the post up first which I'm banking on The Hub doing that since I'm leaving for Houston at 4:30am in the morning) re: "A new perspective of the need for routine." All I can say is Jam On! You don't want to miss this one!
The winner is Bonnie at Coffee Autism Faith Explored on this her post "A child is more than a label." Great post and discussion. 10 points to you!!
Bonnie's post struck a cord with me. I know I was run over by an amtrak when we got The Elder's diagnosis even though we were warned 6 months prior to his official diagnosis. In the beginning I think I threw out every excuse I could to "prove" he was NOT on the spectrum. Even once I realized what I was dealing with I wasn't really sure what I was dealing with. I relied so much on what other people were telling me that we needed. Even the school system was guiding him along to a special class (because we know how helpful they are and how much they have the student's best interest at heart, right?). Once the school system recognized that he needed intervention it was like it really sunk in. Then I did a 180 from the beginning and felt like I had to "prove" to everyone why he was on the spectrum, to justify his special treatment from the school system. I mean, all the other preschool moms had to pay for their child to go to private school and how was their child any different than mine. Well, that was really hard to answer because at the time I honestly didn't know the answer. As I began to learn more about the spectrum and more about where The Elder was on the spectrum (since each person IS different) I felt compelled to tell them (the people who asked the questions I formerly could not answer) what traits he exhibited that he was accepted into a special school where he get life training at age 4. "Well, my child does that." "Isn't that normal?" "Isn't that just being a boy/kid?" To which I go on the defensive and start being more specific. Now I'm digging my own hole because I'm labeling my own child which makes me feel like I'm being melo-dramatic and attention-seeking which is totally the opposite. I want people to be aware and to understand but I think I have just come to the conclusion that some people just do not and will not. For some people, it just may not be worth even starting the conversation.
In a matter of 5 days, my treo crashed TWICE. Is it because I said such lovely things in my last post? I've installed a new program to save my preferences, so evidently this is a common occurrence or they wouldn't have software to protect you from it.
Anyhoo, I have been back in SC, just me The Kiddos and The AP. The Brother has a nice take on the trip. I sooooo want a Wii. Especially since now The Super Doc has prescribed me to workout. Yeah, I know I needed to but I guess I just needed a professional to tell me to motivate me.
To add to the weekend I got to spend time with The HS BFF and her family. We hadn't even met each other's 2 year olds yet! It was a nice get together.
As far as blogging goes, I am slammed packed in January. I didn't realize it was going to be this busy or I would have taken some vitamins or something. After my meeting tonight I have the weekend to catch up on spending quality time with my family before I fly off to Houston on Monday for the rest of the month. Well, I'll be back on the 31st just in time for the month-end crunch for work. I think Feb 1st I'll just sleep all day. Would that be OK?
So I have been way behind on commenting on people's blogs because I have been reading them on my Treo but saving them so that I'll remember to comment when I'm at my computer next, so I have like 383 posts marked as "unread" in my Reader for me to wade through when I get a spare 4 hours to do that. It's crazy but I miss everyone, so I hope that you stop by and read this so you know that I miss our "conversations."
I have another thought provoker for you....
Trying this out to see if I can post from my Treo without using the Mobile Blogger (a pain). I've had my Treo for about a year now and it took me a week to decide to get it. Even among the wave of blackberries and iPhones I must say I have grown fond of my gadget. I have even learned to wrap my right brain around it to make it more visual, thus more and more functional.
Any other Treonauts out there?
There again, another lyrical reference in my post title. That's pretty hilarious that I realized that about myself.
Anyhoo, I love the "spectrum" of responses that I got to my last post. Mandolin Mom sent me a text message saying, "when are we going to hear YOUR opinion?" So fair is fair.
When I had this group discussion in person, there was also a spectrum of responses. My final statement was that there isn't a "catch all" comfort phrase for everyone for every situation. In other words, a phrase may speak to one positively and offend another. I think that is what diversity is all about. Acceptance and tolerance is another issue...
I personally find a lot of comfort in knowing that everything happens for reason, season, or lifetime.. That thought gets me through (and will get me through) the toughest times of my life. Knowing that Someone Else is in control is very comforting and it allows me to enjoy my life.
It reminds me of the strategy that The Teacher gave me: "take away his control." In other words, I couldn't give The Elder a choice of what he wants to eat, to wear, to go, etc. I, as his care-taker, took care of that for him. He did not need to be responsible for such things. He did not need to worry about those things and build up his anxiety which came out in very impulsive, aggressive, and frustrating ways. I had a really hard time with this strategy. I was so used to giving him a choice of 2 things, mainly to just get a response from him since he did not answer open-ended questions. "Do you want oatmeal or grits for breakfast?" when I should have actually just said, "We are having oatmeal for breakfast." or "You will wear a coat to school." Again, SO hard for me to do. I still catch myself giving him choices where I shouldn't. (To clarify, picking a movie, toy, game, etc are fine choices. It was his basic needs that I needed to take full control of.) Shortly after starting (not perfecting) the strategy, we started to see a huge difference....he was "freed up to be a kid, have fun, relax, and be happy."
Similarly, I can act out impulsively, aggressively, and in frustrating ways when I'm trying to be in control and do it my way when it may or may not be obvious to me that I am not in control. It gives me much sympathy and empathy to my Kiddos when they are fighting me on things that they can't wrap their young brains around. There are just some things in life that I feel I will just never understand, but can rest in the assurance that somehow, somewhere, it is fulfilling its purpose, even if that purpose has absolutely nothing to do with me.
Great discussion guys! I might do this again sometime. I'm out of town this weekend but will do the drawing for some mystery prize from the responses to the last post (so get them in quick if you haven't yet...you got til Tuesday!!).
By the way, sorry I'm so behind writing at everyone's blog (including my own). I've been away from my computer a lot lately and have been reading posts on my Treo and it is a pain in the you know what to submit comments via a Smartphone! I shall return! Thanks for continuing to visit here and welcome new readers/commenters!
Without giving my own opinion, I would like to see how others react to this statement...
"Everything happens for a reason."
I heard interesting points of view and I would like to hear other honest opinions about this. Maybe I'll even give something away. If you know someone with an opinion (hard to come by, I know), please forward to them. I do not judge anyone, but if you want to answer anonymously please do.
You can tell that I think in music. I have a lot of post titles that are songs. Ha!
Anyhoo, we have had a super busy weekend. The Younger has been sick with high fevers since Friday. I started seeing "clingy" signs on Thursday. If he wasn't sleeping, he was screaming. He was actually hilarious yesterday. He was screaming because he was hungry but didn't have an appetite or everything that he requested to eat didn't taste the way he wanted so he would pitch a fit. Finally I got some chips (Tangy Tomato from Flat Earth - yummy) that were pretty flavorful. He was screaming for me to share them with him (they were his). He commanded me to sit down on the floor with him and then literally took my hand and put it in the chips bag. "Share...with...me...mommy!" (said between sobbing)
When we wasn't screaming, he was sleeping. When he was sleeping we were working. I did an interview on Saturday so that got me out of the house YAY! When I was in the house we........ ORGANIZED THE CLOSET!! Now everything is FAR from clean, but it is all so organized that I was excited. And we spend very little money. I told The Hub how proud of myself I was to not be impulsive (ADHD in me?). Usually when I read things like The RB Book I will have grand visions and start working on it right away just to find out that it won't work, I won't like it, I won't do it, or I won't pay for it. But I waited and we actually have very few things to purchse before our masterpiece is complete! The key is that we were very honest with ourselves. Do I put my shoes here ot here....well, will I put them away if they are here? And so forth.
The Elder had a substitute teacher yesterday for part of the day and we got a note home that he had given the subs a hard time. Based on what The Teacher told me last visit, they have parents of former students of the class (all HFA/AS) to sub so that they know what they are doing (about as much as we all know what we are doing though I guess). He got up this morning and said he didn't want to go to school which is very strange. He said his head hurt but he wasn't acting sick so who knows what the true source of his avoidant behavior was because we went to school. It was like, once I finally got his clothes on, he magically wanted to go to school and he finished the routine without a word.
I wanted to post something on Friday to spawn a discussion/opinion poll but forgot so I'm going to make a separate post and maybe it will take the place of Success Sunday that I missed...
I'm including some visuals and commentary for The Hub's post today.
"The Elder begins to meltdown. He doesn’t want to eat his Oatmeal. He tosses his milk cup, gets naked, threatens to pee on the floor, runs to his room, screams, and when he is set into a “wait area” he is crying."This is when the Younger announces to me that "Brother take off train jammy-jams."
"He’s in a state of not using his words to tell us what is bothering him, even though we know that he can. Everything is familiar… bowl, spoon, milk, even the presentation of oatmeal is the same. Telling him that he has to eat his breakfast is making him meltdown even further. My Lovely and Talented Wife put the timer on the stove and tells him that he has 5 minutes to eat his oatmeal and then finally we get some indication on why he has been acting like a maniac."He kept saying over and over again that he needed help. In other words he wanted me to feed him. "I need help, see?" as he begins to scoop of some oatmeal and casually dump it on the table. "You know how to feed yourself. What else do you need?" "My L-Max" "I hear that, and I said you can have it after you eat." He throws the milk cup and the spoon across the table and starts to throw the oatmeal bowl. I stop him. So now he is scooping the oatmeal out of the bowl like it is play dough. But here is the thing...he started eating it off his fingers so I knew that he was hungry. Well, he has a fixation with numbers, especially a digital countdown. My exact words were that he had "until the clock says zero or he loses L-Max time." That gets him going just about as fast as reminding him that black things grow on our teeth if we don't brush them.
"It turns out that he didn’t want the spoon that I gave him. The same spoon that I’ve served him the last 3 times, instead he wanted the smallest (infant sized) version of our silverware. Once he got this spoon he ate his food without a problem and without fuss."He even took a HUGE bite of oatmeal that barely would fit the large spoon, much less the infant spoon. That's when I said, let me get the camera and take a picture of that big boy bite. So literally less than 30 seconds after receiving the spoon of choice, this is what he looks like:
Friday @ 1pm: I actually wrote this post last night and slept on it before I published it. I haven't re-read it before pushing the "Publish Post" button so I hope it has some flow to it...
This post is the result of random gut reactions to various things. The following articles spoke to me in various ways and I wanted to include them in my journal for various reasons. It's great to see that other parents can relate to what I experience on a daily basis (no matter how typical I sometimes try to make us appear on paper and in public). It's a relief to hear that people have seen the contradictions within the same person, the same day, the same 30 seconds, of one extreme to the other. I know that I'm incredibly blessed to be turned down for services because The Elder doesn't qualify. I know that I'm blessed for a thousand million reasons that somehow I married The Hub. But the blessings don't open a gate for us to escape autism.
Read this from a post at Momformation:
"Part of the reason I began writing about autism is that there’s so little information available. I know, it sounds nuts: if you Google the word “autism,” you’ll get over 18 million search results. But here’s the thing: most will focus on causation, many on treatment. If you read news articles, you’ll get the same result, except with more celebrities, statistics and fear-mongering. But precious few will give you any idea of what autism is like, really like, on a human level, day to day, for families like yours and mine.And I found this on Wrong Planet:"It’s not surprising, really. After all, autism is a spectrum disorder, which means that people with the same diagnosis can appear dramatically different. They may be verbal, nonverbal, hyperverbal. They can be acutely sensitive to sound, or appear as if they haven’t heard a word you’ve said. They can be constantly in motion, or quiet and still. They can crave touch, or avoid it at all costs.
"When my own son was diagnosed on the spectrum, I was shocked: he didn’t fit my image of what autism is supposed to look like. He’s funny, warm, playful and smart. He thinks farting in the bathtub is the the height of hilarity.He loves to play with cars, sing songs, look at his picture books and snuggle. But his language is delayed, and he struggles with peer play. He flaps his arms when he’s excited and can fixate on opening and closing doors when he’s anxious. He can count to ten in seven languages. but has trouble telling me what he did at school. He’s a handsome little bundle of contradictions, that one."
"I am a parent. I have Asperger's syndrome. I have two grown children, one of whom is on the autism spectrum. I am very aware of how parents can react to an autism spectrum diagnosis in their child. It's not hard to find descriptions of their reactions on autism support sites on the Internet or in the popular media. I know how my friends and acquaintances have reacted to their child's diagnosis. It's unfortunate that many parents are frightened by the diagnosis. It's tragic that they are frequently given endless amounts of bad advice which leads them to waste their time and energy and money. Some of the ways they react emotionally, and some of what they do to their child is, at the very least, less than optimal for their child's development."
"Autistic people contribute to their communities in many ways, no matter what constellation of obvious abilities and disabilities they demonstrate. Autistic people are valuable as they are. They don't have value only if they can be transformed into less obviously autistic people."
"Autistic children love their parents. You may have to learn to see how your child expresses affection and not take it personally if your child doesn't show affection in the way that typical children do. Deaf children may never speak the words, "I love you," and Deaf parents may never hear those words, but it doesn't mean that Deaf children don't love their parents. "
I think the most difficult part that I have as a parent and wife of persons with Aspergers Syndrome is balancing the the NT and ASD worlds. What the NT world expects in order for one to be successful. We can have a completely "NT Day" and then then next day be a total nightmare (we haven't had one of those is a while thank goodness). But worse, the flip flop of NT and ASD moments within the same day can send others confused, frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious, etc. Oftentimes for our household, it is these things that are the major contributions to the "social dysfunction" because the NT world doesn't understand and shuns them. Do the "Less Obviously Autistic People" of the world have it easier or harder? How do you "fit in" and embrace a neurodiversity philosophy at the same time? Is that possible? Is that smart? My boys have to "pretend to be NT" in order to be accepted, to survive a social without being asked a million times "what's wrong" or if they are "ok" or having a "good time," or to just have a conversation. The people who only know them when they are "playing NT" have no clue of who is truly in front of them. Of course to them they are "normal" because in some situations they have been adequately "trained" to appear so, whether through experience, habit, therapy, movies, or whatever. But at other times, they are "normal" because they naturally do and enjoy what would be considered "normal." I can definitely see how someone on the outside looking in could be totally confused by that. I guess that is why they are "Less Obviously Autistic People."
The Hub was raised in an NT world without knowledge of his ASD. He turned out fine. BUT I can tell how he is so much more relaxed to be himself and to be OK when he is not supposed to be himself ("play NT"). It is almost as if he took a bite of the apple and his eyes were opened and all these solutions to life-long questions and questions he didn't even know to ask came flying at him at warp speed. I experienced that too, but I'm sure for me it was on a much smaller scale. I have spent the last 19 months learning to understand why I was being driven away from my "perfect" family. What was wrong with me as a mother, wife, human being that I was so unhappy and unfulfilled among all these blessings? When we got a diagnosis, I had the most huge sigh of relief, and at the same time, a huge anchor landed in the middle of my chest. Since the diagnoses, we have been exposed to solutions that are working, and I am happier than I ever thought I could be. I went from feeling stuck to lovestruck. When The Hub does something quirky, it is so neat to understand WHY and be ok with it - to "forgive" it, if you will. The same for The Elder. I'm so relieved that he can even answer the question WHY now. It helps me get to answers and solutions so much faster, even though he still isn't always able to effectively articulate himself, especially in high stress situations. Usually I can translate it pretty fast. He is a happy kid I can tell. Now just like his dad, he would have turned out fine, but now he is going to be better than fine...because he bit the apple at 3 instead of 36.Oh my goodness - The Elder has gotten Good marks across the board everyday this week. I'm trying not to get too excited because it always seems to come back and bite me in the butt when I do. But honestly he has been really communicating very well lately. He's very much so a rule boy. Yesterday he was telling me how he had "two rules." He never completely told me what they were but he was very "grown-up" as he was announcing them.
I have been using the "Use your words" technique for sometime, but now that he is actually using them, I have to really think about what words I give him to use. About 2 weeks ago I started using the phrase "Mommy will handle this" so that he has a default thing to say when he doesn't know what to say. For example if The Younger is "bahvering" The Elder and he doesn't know how to "redirect" him, instead of pushing him, I'm trying to coach him to say "Mommy will handle this" and then come get me. Today was the first time I actually heard him saying it.
"What happened here?"
"I just pushed him onto the thinking chair." (It's a chair that resembles the Blue's Clues thinking chair)
"Why did you do that?"
"He was ........ with the bottle." (I'm not sure what the verb was here. Something like squishing, I assumed he was bothering The Elder by making too much noise with the plastic water bottle while he was playing a video game.)
"It's OK for him to do that, but it's not OK for you to push him. If you don't like what he is doing, what words should you say?"
"Mommy.....Mommy...You can handle this."
This is all good and well until the day comes and I can't handle it. Anyone got a better suggestion of a phrase I ought to be using instead?
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The Younger is exhibiting some traits that are starting to get me concerned. The Elder's psychologist told me not to worry about him until he is 4 because he might be imitating his brother. Which does totally make sense, but he is so smart which is supposed to be a warning sign according to The Elder's OT from last year (who got the dx ball rolling).
Today he wanted to watch the Polar Express and he was matching up words on the screen with the words on the DVD case. He learns things very fast, not just visual things though. Like languages, he started learning Portuguese from The AP so fast that I started to think I perhaps I should start teaching him Tagalog - my parents native language. So he is learning, English, Spanish, Portuguese, and Tagalog all at the same time! And doing well at it. At least vocabulary. He knows most of his colors (but he doesn't distinguish between blue and sky blue though like The Elder did at his age), even pink (of course), and he knows his shapes - square, rectangle, circle, triangle, oval, star, heart, diamond, and octagon. He learns lyrics immediately and sings along to everything. He finishes my sentences when I recite the Lord's Prayer. He recognizes letters and numbers, and can count to 15 without help..higher with help. He's OCD and ADHD wrapped up in a cute little ball. Mood swings out the wazoo, but then again...He's 2 and a half. His memory is just amazing. But he is incredibly social. Gives the best bear hugs, pretends like a champ, is developmentally on track or above average. I can see a huge difference between him and The Elder at the same age (except for intelligence level).
So then I'm back to square one of not being concerned at all. I think I'm just afraid that it is going to sneak up on me and I want to be prepared. Again, it's that fear of getting ahead of myself vs. the fear of not being prepared. Never having a "typical" 2 year old, it's like have a first child again and I'm not really sure what to expect. What a weird feeling.
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Well, yesterday I missed my first day of the year of working on the book. =o(
I guess I'll make up for it over the weekend perhaps and have 2 sessions on one of the days.
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AND and and and...I'm a SOLD fan of mind-mapping. I wish I had invented it.
Well, the Winter Break is over and The Elder went back to school today. I had to work this morning and had my phone to go off in time for me to meet him at the bus and I just barely made it. It was a nice warm day today so they got to play outside on the playground which always makes for a happy preschooler.
I wrote a note to The Teacher this morning seeing if she could observe him at choir because that starts tomorrow but we are not going yet (plus his best buddy is having a birthday party!). She is going to try to clear it with the school board to see if she can. I tell you something, she is so amazing. It would be so easy for her to say, "No, that is outside of contract hours and it is not a contract school." But she is going to try to get it cleared so she can help him. It is so obvious how much she loves the kids. I'm so lucky that mine is in her classroom.
He got Good marks across the board today which is fantastic considering he hasn't been in school for 2 weeks, but am not surprised I suppose because he has been controlling himself very well lately and he is a huge creature of habit and routine. So am I, I suppose because I have had a very productive 2 days now that we are back in our normal routine. I did change my schedule around a bit to make Monday a work day so that I could start the week off right instead of moping around being sad about what didn't get accomplished over the weekend and taking that out on The Younger by trying to make up time cleaning/organizing/fixing etc and totally neglecting him. Yesterday I had BOTH checking accounts balanced by 10:18am and I hadn't entered a single transaction in about a month (well, ok, 2)! Scary I know, but what an accomplishment (*patting myself on the back*)! So now my One-on-One day with The Younger is on Thursdays and I get to take him to the Library and walk around the greenway at the park by the Library! Bonus...exercise!
Speaking of controlling himself, The Elder did remarkably well today as The Younger was being a total younger sibling nuisance and crawling all over him and completely violating The Elder's personal space.
"You're bahvering me....Quit bahvering me...Get...off, please...I said, GO AWAY, PLEASE."
How polite.
Over the holidays we went shopping (love those outlet malls) and got these CUTE, matching (of course), blue, fleece camouflaged pullovers for the boys. When we were still in SC I tried to get them to wear them, but the weather was so nice that it was actually too warm. The Elder said, "I don't need a coat! I'm not cold!" So now that we are back in the mountains and the cold temperatures decided to come join us for the winter, I thought that I would try again...
Again, I started with The Younger and he actually screamed and hollered, not because of the pullover but because I tried to get him wear a pull-up with cars on them. Cloth pull-ups are not cheap so I'm sad that he won't wear them. (Aside: I pulled his diaper off this morning and let him roam naked and he used the potty all by himself! I just asked him, "Did you pee pee in the potty?" "Yes," he says nonchalantly. I go look and sure enough, there was pee pee in the potty and no puddles in the surrounding areas! Yahoo!) So I put a diaper on him and then he left the pullover on too. I bring The Elder his pullover, making sure he can tell that it is like his brother's.
"I can't like that. I'm not cold."
"You're not cold now, but you will be when we get outside."
"I'll just wear my blue coat."
"You can wear both."
He actually picked it up, sneaked, and hid it in the closet in the playroom! He hasn't figured out yet, I guess, that you don't hide things from people when they are watching you. Ha! But then again this is the guy who, when playing hide and seek and you ask the rhetorical "where are you?" he yells back "I'm right here" from his hiding place!
So we get all ready to go and I asked him why he didn't want to wear it.
"Because it has a sticker on it."
"No it doesn't."
He had to show it to me and was pointing to the camo pattern. I guess he mistook it for a sticker. So what's up with this fear of stickers on clothes now???
"I really would like for you to wear the same shirt as your brother because Home Depot is a really big place and I can find you really fast with this pattern, like a mama zebra can find the baby zebra."
I'm so full of it. Although all of that has merit, the truth is they look so dang cute when they are dressed alike in cute clothes! Ha! Well, it worked and he wore it very reluctantly. When we got to Home Depot, he totally forgot that he hated the pullover. When we got back into the van later he looks at me and says,
"I can wear this shirt on Tuesday."
So now it's one of his favorites!
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The other clothes story is short and sweet...
We took the tags off the last pair of new matching jammy-jams (that's what The Younger calls them) tonight for them to wear but The Younger insisted on wearing the Timberland Footies PJs. So I handed The Elder his new robot PJs and he looked at me and said,
"I can't wear dese. I can wear them on.....on Friday."
"Oh but isn't today Friday?" (I'm quite the liar today)
"It's Friday? Oh! Then I can wear dese!"
And then he puts them on.
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As far back as I can remember I have ALWAYS loved getting new clothes. Does anyone else have weird New Clothes experiences with their kids?
Our new neighbors are really nice. They will be officially our neighbors next Saturday. They don't have kids and didn't seem to mind having mine run all through their yard so that was a good sign. I did offer them the Boys' services in a couple of years for leaf raking (we live in leaf haven - so fun in the fall - wrong!). Me and The Lady Neighbor got a long great! I love making new friends. The Guy Neighbor is also a techie-domestic type so he and The Hub were getting along well. I love it when he meets someone that he feels comfy with right from the get-go. It makes me feel really good about The Elder's future social skills.
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The Younger lately has been going through this hilarious/frustrating phase. It is like having another first child because he's doing a lot that The Elder didn't do at this age. Is bipolar disorder an "Age 2" side effect? One second he's the happiest dude on earth and then he turns into to satan. It's humorous (unless I'm cranky). We've also discovered that you have to wait a full 60 seconds after you ask him a question before you get the REAL answer. And you definitely can't bank on the first response to be the true answer....sometimes you can't even bank on the 2nd one to be right. But typically you can trust the 3rd one.
"I'm Firsty."
"Let's go get some milk."
"No! I don't want milk!"
"OK we can get juice. Would you like juice?"
"I want apple juice.
(wait for it....)
"No! I don't want juice!!! No juice!!" (thrashing about on the floor)
"I want milk."
Now, I can go get him something to drink with 99% confidence that he is getting what he wants. Sometimes he has a decent reaction.
"What color straw do you want - red or green?"
"Green.
(The Hub tosses the red one in the sink at the same moment that The Younger recants his answer)
"No! I want red straw!"
No meltdown really occurred with that one as Mr. OCD is a tiny germaphobe. All we had to say was that "it's dirty now" for him to reject the red and accept the green straw he was given.
But sometimes you just can't follow his thought pattern. Today he was sitting on the counter eating the chicken off the bone from my plate as The Hub was cutting the meat off the bone for him. So I ask,
"Are you ready to eat some chicken?"
"Yes!" (very enthusiastically)
"OK, let's go sit at the table."
"No! I don't want chicken!"
"I'll get some ketchup for you to dip!"
"I DON'T WANT CHICKEN!"
(melt down on the mini-trampoline)
"I'll just put your plate here for when you're ready to join us."
More thrashing occurs while we continue dinner. He hasn't had a nap today and he was playing in the neighbors yard pretty hard, so cranky is a little expected. The Hub and I engage in a conversation about his suspected gluten-attack as he was very sleepy. I suggested that he make a protein smoothie. The Younger LOVES "schmooovies" so I asked him if he wanted some too.
"Yes, I want schmoovie........No, I want ketchup."
So I gave him some ketchup and he ate all of his chicken.....AND had some schmoovie too.
The Younger did great yesterday at the orthopedic. The Hub met us there. It was a really big office complex with a lot of people in the waiting room. You could tell that The Younger was overwhelmed at the grandeur because he would not let my hand go. When The Hub came in, I said,"Look who's here!" and he just stared at him. So I said, "Um, it's Daddy." Then his face lit up and he lifted his arms up for him. I hope that isn't an indication that he needs glasses too...
Anyhoo after filling out paperwork and praying they would call his name soon before the 2-story blinds came crashing down on us (why do kids think they need to pull on those strings?), it was finally our turn to go back. He did perfect with the x-ray machine. I guess the time at the pediatrician's office was just a dress rehearsal. Maybe he knew he would get a sticker. Who knows?
No sooner were we back there when I smelled something. "Do you have something in your diaper?" as I'm checking it out. I look at The Hub and say, "Yep, it's a solid one!" The Younger corrects me and says, "No, it's a poo poo."
Well, I was texting The Asst back and forth trying to get a publication mailed out that day so since technically I was working, The Hub volunteered (after I handed him the diaper bag) to change it. He had to ask twice for the bathroom and twice they told him to just change it in the exam room and twice he explained that they were cloth diapers. Our exam room was near a station so I heard everything. The second lady even gave him a plastic bag,
"Can't you just put it in here and throw it in the trash can in there?"
"Well, it would just be the poop."
She looked at him like he had 2 heads. I interject from the doorway,
"He needs a toilet to flush the poop. I don't think the people after us would appreciate us throwing poop in the trash can."
Finally he took The Youngers pants down to show her the diaper. After 5 minutes of requesting a bathroom, she points them in the right direction. Geez!
When they got back I asked The Hub,
"Why are they arguing with us on this?"
"Maybe it's a high security bathroom?"
"I can't imagine it meets sanitary standards for us to throw the poop in the room's trash can." (It was a big trash can - like the size you put by the curb. I guess for trashing larger leg casts?)
"Shoot, maybe I should just take a d*mp here." as The Hub pretends to sit on the trash can and waving to the doctor pretending to say "excuse me, don't mind me, we weren't allow to use the bathroom." Just then the doctor really did walk in and we busted out laughing and the doctor is looking at us like, "did I miss something?"
Anyhoo, enough fun and games. The verdict: Verified that he has congenital trigger thumb, surgery is necessary. They'll have to put him under for the half hour procedure and then put him in a cast past his elbow for 2 weeks. sigh... Fun. The date is set for Feb 15th.
Little Me is going out of business. (They might already be out of business by now.) We stocked up on the cutest little argyle socks of a variety of colors for the boys and little striped fleece coats. They had racks and racks and racks of footies pajamas that were so cute that I just wanted to buy them all. We are in this trend where we are dressing the boys alike. (Hey it's cute and as long as they let me, I'm going to have fun playing dress up with them since I don't get to have a girl.) And it isn't a total waste of money because The Younger will eventually wear 4T and by that time, The Elder probably won't allow me to dress them alike. On the other hand, a lot of the twinning has been at The Elder's request. Mmmm So much fun!! Too bad I can't put them in pink. Anyhoo....
We didn't buy any because it isn't as fun to get cute PJs for The Younger if you can't get it for The Elder too. I think The Elder gets a little claustrophobic in body suits, especially ones with the enclosed footies. He has refused to wear them since he was 18 months. The Younger will wear them in 80 degree weather. We actually had to hide them last summer because he would pitch a fit to wear them.
On Christmas Eve, The AP was so thoughtful to purchase nice matching Timberland Footies PJs for the boys. The Hub and I looked at each other with this "Thanks, I really really really hope he wears it" kinda look. Since The Elder is the one who has been requesting dressing the same, we took that angle. We put them on The Younger first. He of course loved them. Then I showed them to The Elder...
"Look! Just like brother's!!"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" (screaming and running away.)
"Don't you want to dress like brother?"
"I can't like that! It's too scary to me!"
"What is?"
"The Tag"
"Well put them on and I'll tear the tags off."
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Not that."
"Which one then?"
"That one." (with no pointing to give me a hint)
"This one?" (pulling at the inside label)
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! That one! That one right dere!"
"The tag on the zipper?" (the zipper pull)
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Not that one."
He's totally lost his patience with me at this point. Likewise, I'm running out of tags to point to. I'm beginning to believe that it is an imaginary tag...
"Show me. Point to it. With your finger."
"Dere." (quick flick of the hand - still not helpful)
"Lay your finger on it."
"That one. Dere."
It was the embroidered Timberland Emblem on the left breastside...
Well, there's no cutting that out, so I left the tags on and handed them to The AP apologizing that he wouldn't wear them. She was planning to return them when she got back from New York (she didn't get to see the ball drop - sad).
So while she was gone, The Hub and I tag teamed on Tub Time duty. He had to shower anyway after his run so The Elder showered with him and The Younger got the tub all to himself. When we got to my bathroom to use the hair dryer, The Younger had already picked out his PJs - The Timberland ones! The Elder asked,
"Where's mines?"
"Your PJs?" He nods. "You didn't like them so she's taking them back to the store."
"But I want the same as brother."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"These? With the Tree?"
"Yes."
So I sneaked into The AP's room to look for them. I brought The Younger with me so I didn't feel so guilty snooping around. I had a witness. Ha! Luckily they were in plain site. I brought them to The Elder and ask the same questions.
"Yes, I want to wear dose."
"Ooookayyyy." I say tentatively.
"Um, you need to take dese off." (the tags)
"Put them on first and then I'll take them off."
He complied. I even left the tags on for a while in fear that he would change his mind. Finally I gave in to his request, letting him know how permanent a decision this was. Evidently when I ran to get the PJs, The Hub ran to grab the camera. We both knew this was picture worthy, even if for a few seconds. But he wore them all through the night and even requested to wear them again on New Year's Eve. "Where's my NEW PJs? The ones with the socks?"
I would say, "My baby's growing up," but they are footies pajamas. Nothin' says "baby" like onsies! Look at my babies!
By the way, they carry footies at Target that 5-foot (and shorter) humans can wear. I got a pink one with princess frogs on them! Too cute! And sooooo warm! =o)
One of the things I wanted to do this year was publish a post every single day. Well, I missed January 1st....so much for that goal! Ha! That was a result of a gluten hangover from New Year's Eve. We spent time at The Couple Friends' house and totally indulged in breading and pie crusts.
BUT I'm all about Being Great in 2008 and that means, accepting that I'm not perfect, accepting that some things can be perfected and others can be delegated, learning to think like ME and not how others expect me to think, asking for advice and opinions without obligating myself to take or adopt them, and moving forward after a fall!
So on to the next goal, I'm doing something EVERY DAY toward writing my book. Not just thinking or talking about it, but something concrete like research or writing. So far so good. I like that because then I won't get hyper-focused one day and then burn out the next.
I'm also in the process of embracing my right-brain and learning to organize everything tailored to my needs. According to The Book, that means I am allowed to pile and not file! Yahoo! I'm so excited. The most immediate project is my closet. Sounds mundane and non-productive, but it is the source of the most clutter in my bedroom which totally shuts me down because I have to walk through my closet to go to the bathroom AND when I lay down on my bed I can see right into the closet. Not what I need to wake up to! So I sat in my closet and observed and tried to figure out what was my biggest struggle with keeping the closet tidy....1) shoes (though part of that is because the Kiddos like to wear my shoes around the house..???) and 2) not hanging up clothes from the laundry, and 3) lack of proper handling of those items that are in laundry purgatory - been worn, but not ready for the washer yet. Specifically jeans and PJs and lounging clothes that I wear in the middle of the day between my daytime biz suit and my nighttime biz suit.
The solution you might be wondering? I'm adopting a "Drape" philosophy!! I've been researching Trouser Racks and Hooks. I think it will work. Does anyone else have this problem special need? What are some of the things that you've tried? Did it work?
I'm also in the process of changing management systems for my businesses and I'm going to break it down into segments so I don't get overwhelmed. Imagine that! Project management - what a concept! The difference is that it is not linear. I'm using the "mind-mapping" strategy. I did this over the weekend and was totally amazed at how much I got accomplished.
Well, off to get something to eat!
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