Spring Cleaning

Click here and your screen will be cleaned automatically!!
You'll be glad you did!

I have a lot of stuff to go through before next week's Children's Clothing Sale. (Last year I even found somethings that I swear might have fit me! Well maybe before I got my postpartum hips.) They don't just take clothes, but also toys, books, strollers, etc. So I'm excited about getting rid of some stuff. We have already passed on a ton of stuff to our Hansen pals. I think Izzy might have to grow into the stuff. I kept the 2 preemie outfits that The Younger wore. The Elder was naked in the bili-lights so much after birth that I don't think he ever wore preemies. He was closer to normal size anyway so he may not have ever worn them. Boy did I digress.

I think I'm losing my voice. The Hub says, "yeah, you're starting to sound froggy." I personally refer to it as my sexy voice. Sexy is much better than Froggy wouldn't you say?
Anyhoo, I have a retreat to go to this weekend so I will probably completely lose my voice by Sunday.

Well, Happy Leap Year everyone!

Au natural

I had to quote this article I was reading...

Educational Intervention

Because children with Asperger's Syndrome may differ widely in terms of IQ and ability levels, schools should learn to individualize educational programs for these children.

Some of them may cope well in a mainstream class with additional support, while others may need to receive specialized education. In all cases, teachers should be aware of the special needs of Asperger's children, who often need a great deal more support than first appears necessary.

...because it really helped me with why an Aspergian is considered to have "Special Needs." So often I look at how well The Elder is doing and enjoy the normality of these moments. But then cringe at the thought of him being in a "normal" Kindergarten.

So what is the deal with herbal remedies anyway? What is the best approach to using this method with kids? Some of the stuff on there I wanted for myself! Ha!

As I told The Hub I didn't want to get caught up in the hype of this article, but would really want to do it if I could find a trusted source.

Not a plug

In case you didn't get to see these videos or slideshows:

Click on the picture to take you to the video of this. Background info here at this post.

The Need for Routine

This is what he was jamming to.... He has actually told me that he wants one! Hey, buddy...stand in line! I think he thinks it shakes and changes all of those colors by itself. I got a demo one from the company and he is totally enamored with it. Of course I won't let him have it. Can't have my boy wearing blue eyeshadow!




Here they should have had a plug. Apparently there is a quarter of a bottle of bubble bath in there.


Tulipmom, if you look closely at the first few you can see the red walls in my Master Bathroom.

And, no, I wasn't present at the time these picture were taken. As a matter of fact, the first knowledge I had of it was when I got home after work that night and check my Reader and saw it online! I holler over to The Hub, "When did this happen?"

"Oh, about an hour ago..."

To his merit, he cleaned it up really well before I got home.

Quotables and Doc results

I have to capture today's conversations before I forget!

--------------------------------------------------

On the way home from The Child Psych that dx The Elder he says...

"Now we go to a house.....it starts with a J........he's my friend......and there's a Thomas, Percy, James..."
"OK, I'll call Joshua's mom right now to set a time."
"You're right!! You guessed Joshua's house!"

--------------------------------------------------

"OK I left a message for Joshua's mom to call me back."
"We can go to his house and wait for him."
"No, that's called stalking."
"I want to do that....I want to stalking."

--------------------------------------------------

"Let's figure out what we will eat."
"I want to go to Buddy's"
"We have Buddy's at home."
"But I want to GO to Buddy's"
"If we GO anywhere if won't be Buddy's because we have that at home."
"I want pizza."
"Well, I don't know how to make daddy's pizza, but we can stop at Go Nutrition and get a frozen pizza." (Sad, I know)
"Sure!" (more like "shore")

"Um, this is the part to our house."
"The part?"
"Yes"
"Do you mean path?"
"Yes"
"As in the road to our house?"
"Yes"
"You're right it is, but it is also the road to Go Nutrition."

As we pull into the parking lot of the store...
"Ooohhhhhh, I think you guessed right."

--------------------------------------------------

Now we are on the way home from the store pulling into the subdivision...
"We are almost home."
"Yes, which way do we go." I've never asked him to navigate before...
"I fink we go right."
"OK now we are going right, now what?"
"Next is left
.....you go straight for the wrong way...Eliza lives there. (classmate)
.....Another straight and right
.....Good, mommy, you found the right road
.....now there a little tiny curve...you pass this house...and our car goes there...and you push the button (for garage door)
.....You did it!!"

--------------------------------------------------

Mind you that ALL happened in the 20 minute ride home (not including the pit stop at the store).

On a completely different note, yet related because this is where we were driving home from...we met with The Child Psych for a re-evalution. Well, "improvement" is an appropriate word for the outcome. In 8 months he went from a nonverbal IQ of 130 (or 7 years 4 months equivalent when he was 3 years, 10 months) which is the 98th percentile, to a nonverbal IQ of 146 (or 11 years 9 months equivalent now he is 4 years and 7 months) which is in the 99.9th percentile. We were totally blown away. I mean we knew he was gifted but gee whiz.

He also improved in the picture naming verbal test - he went up to 73rd. But his Listening Comprehension skills were still low (31st percentile) and dragged his Overall Verbal score from 68th last June to 50th percentile today. He said not to worry about that. I guess it is average. And for comprehension, it doesn't cause a buzz in the school unless it is less than 25%. His main concern was with prepositions.

Other tests he took were
Reading - 1.9 grade level
Reading Comprehension - 1.4 grade level
Math - K.8 grade level

For the Math tests he was 5 years and 10 months equivalent on one and 6 years on the other. He said that those are probably low compared to his actual ability because the test involves a lot of Listening Comprehension skills.

He stressed for us to have a Social curriculum, encouraging pretend play, game play (balls, chase, and imitation) and with the trains to have a double approach:

1) Limit his talk about trains. E.g. 15 minutes of talking about animals
2) Broaden his love of trains. E.g. to maps to geography OR to gears to electronics to Audio/Visual components. Something pre-vocational.

He said one kid started at trains and has broadened his love to studio production and has visited the Veggie Tales Studio in Nashville. I didn't even know there was one! We are so going there!

As far as the Kindergarten concern, he really advocates him going to Kindergarten next year. His ideal situation would be for The Elder to go to the transition class if it is approved and go to 1st grade from there (instead of K). He said academically he is already a 1st grader so he really just needs a year to develop his social skills. He predicts in a year he will be reading at a 4th grade level and to put him in Kindergarten is just asking for boredom and behavior problems not even linked to ASD. (That is with a transition year and then K). So it is still up in the air as of what to do.

Has anyone been in this situation and glad of your decision or wish you had made a different one? I really need opinions on this!

Attempt to be a poet

What is a Haiku?
Does it have to have purpose?
So much for trying...

inspired by Niksmom

Thank you...Thank you very much...

Karen at Beyond Understanding bestowed upon me the Beauty Within Award. It originated from MonkeyGirl, who designed it for Joeymom, who passed it on to Niksmom, who passed it on to Kristen and Karen...there! It's the game of six degrees! Sorta kinda. Anyhoo...

Thanks Karen for sending this my way. Like I said, it means a lot to me. When I think I'm being whiny and kicking myself for it, I'll picture this tree and treasure all the blessings and miracles I have in my life!

You know...I'm gonna get a little cheesy here so just to forewarn you. But I want to pass this to The Hub. This tree reminds me of him so much. Simple life and so grounded with stronger roots than anyone will ever see. The complex wiring of the branches are what make the tree so beautiful.

This is something that he would like to photograph. Before I met him I might have been a potted plant staring at the ground, missing all of the majesty surrounding me. He reminds me to stop among the hustle and bustle around us, and savor something beautiful; something seemingly simple, yet so detailed; He taught me the motto "take lots of pictures" and I see him chasing the craziest things to photograph, but he can find the beauty in everything and everyone. Thank the good Lord he stuck with me in my ugliest moments!

I love you, babe!

Now for that list...

I thought I would go ahead and knock out the quotables I need to journal about...

"We are going to Lolo and Lola's house this weekend."
"You mean the big house that is far far away?"
(My parents live in SC which is an 8 hour drive. This was the 3rd time we have driven there since Christmas, including Christmas. Last time he said, "I fink Lola's house is a very long time." So his syntax has improved in just one month!)

-----------------------------------------------------

Valentine's Day and the case of the crabby patty
Picture speak louder than words so check out the web album. I did finally find the missing crabby patty...it was in my PJ's pocket! Hahahahaha...
BTW, just in case Kara reads this, since it takes FOREVER for us to get together, there is a Valentine here waiting for Joshua and Mrs. Lovett. His choice when I asked, "Who else would you like to send a Valentine to?" Isn't that sweet. The other sweet thing is when he was picking out Joshua's Valentine, he choose the one that said "Best Friends." Double sweet!!

-----------------------------------------------------

While I'm on the same subject...
The Kiddos have rekindled my love for Veggie Tales. I really thought that The Elder would enjoy the music (silly songs) but I never really could get the regular episodes to hold his attention. Well, The Younger fell in LOVE with a Veggie Tales CD-Rom that The 6yo With No Tooth The Cousin formerly known as The 6yo With No Tooth, so when I went to Sam's Club I saw a double feature Silly Songs Set. They both have worn them out. The Elder has his favorite which "I can be your friend." He literally played it over and over again....practically the entire 8 hour drive home, and then again once we were home. He sang it for everyone. Then he looks at me and says,

"Gotta go to Joshua's house and sing this song?"

-----------------------------------------------------

We celebrated the birthday of The Cousin formerly known as The 8yo with The Bendy Glasses The 9yo with The Bendy Glasses last weekend while we were in SC and truly had a good time. The SIL was very respectful of our gfcf diet and made sure we all had something we could eat. See The Brother's nerdy recap of the event. However, birthday cake is birthday cake and it is really hard to make a tasty gfcf birthday cake so we were building up the stamina for the approaching time that we would have to tell The Elder that he couldn't have cake.

When the announcement was made that the cake was ready, The Elder came up to me very calmly and said, "Do I get cake?"

I was so proud of him for, first, being aware that he does have dietary restrictions, and second, getting permission first before having to go through the ordeal of taking it away from him. I was so happy that I kept trying to think of a way that he could indulge...finally I look at The SIL and say, no cake, just icing.... Now what parent would ever say something like that?? But you know what...he was satisfied and probably had the least amount of calories in his little icing "volcano" than those who ate their whole piece of cake.

-----------------------------------------------------

"On Valentine's Day I can wear my Thomas shoes....after President's Day I can wear my School shoes."
"What about on President's Day?"
"I saaaaiiiiiidddd AAAAFTER President's Day."
"What shoes will you wear on President's Day?"
"But there's just no school on President's Day."

Hahahahha

-----------------------------------------------------

"Is that your dog?" said the man who helped us move furniture this weekend to The Elder.
"Yes, it's just Skip."
"Can I take him home with me?"
"Um...you can just go to the pet store."

In other words, get your own dog! Hardy har har.

-----------------------------------------------------

"I think I want to move your computer to that corner of the room. Do you think you would like that?" (Always have to research if we will have a meltdown or not)
"Sure!"
"Well I have to wait for your daddy to come home because I can't do it by myself."
"You can keep trying!"

I'm so proud of him!!!

-----------------------------------------------------

Food...it's all in the presentation...

"I want Peanut Butter Bread."

We use natural peanut butter and tapioca bread, but The Hub and I have a passion for this, and we found it while we were in SC and bought 2 jars of it. Unfortunately The Elder saw it. Not knowing there was a difference in the PBs we use, The AP had accidentally been making their PB bread with the fattening, not-so-good for you PB. And being the Aspergian he is, The Elder REMEMBERED every detail of the label that at a simple glimpse he knew he wanted it.

So The Hub goes to make his snack and pulls out the Natural Peanut Butter that we usually use. The Elder would have been totally fine with it if he hadn't first spied the yummy one.

"I want the peanut butter with the BLUUUUUEEEE lid, not the peanut butter with the Lellow lid."

So being the smarty pants Hub he is, The Hub switched the lids on the peanut butter behind his back and we got NO complaints! Ha!

-----------------------------------------------------

Be sure to check out The Hub's post today for a good laugh. Sure would make a good wordless wednesday. I also put the web album in the sidebar...


Whew! I think I only have 2 things left from my list!!!
-----------------------------------------------------

Random pix

Coupled with their love for their L-Maxes, I love that they are sharing their space now. Yes that is one chair!

No words were exchanged between these boys. The Boy with the GameBoy continued to play while The Elder casually looked over his shoulder...for 15 minutes! However, it didn't hold The Younger's attention for much longer past this snapshot.

The McDonald's that we always stop at on the way home from SC. I like to let them run around to break up the 8 hours drive. Plus you can purchase just the grilled chicken patty and get as GFCF as possible for only $2!!
Last trip I had to climb up into this contraption to rescue The Younger. It doesn't matter that I'm only 5 feet, my back was hurting from having to crawl through that. Next time I'll take a picture of the whole thing. Anyhoo, this trip The Younger is a big boy now because he was able to get thru the maze with some encouragement from his brother...I heard them talking at the top of the slide so I grabbed my camera real quick at the bottom of the slide and to my delight this is what I got a picure of!! Brotherly Love and Support. I love it! And who says he can't empathize???

Tag! You're It!

OK, you fall off the earth and come up for air to find out you've been tagged for a fun thingy.

Thanks to Marla who tagged me with this:

The rules: Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. (No cheating!) Find Page 123. Find the first 5 sentences. Post the next 3 sentences. Tag 5 people.

From Delivered from Distraction:

Page 123 was actually the first page of chapter 12!

"However, with changes in the qEEG machine and alterations in the design of the research, a brain-wave pattern was identified that was characteristic of ADD.
"People with ADD tend to show a pattern of under-arousal in areas in the cortex, or outer layer, of the brain. This so-called cortical hypo-arousal is identified by the presence of more slow waves, or so-called theta waves, over fast waves, or so-called beta waves.

Geez! What a snoozer! No wonder I can't finish this book...

I tag:

GFCF Mommy

Maizie

Tulipmom

Karen

Mom to JBG

Check off another one, or two, maybe three...

Got the bag today. It's absolutely beautiful! Thanks again Gwen!

Another link I want to throw out there is this extremely touching speech that Niksmom posted. Here is the transcript if you don't have time to watch the video, though the video is well worth the watch.

Also, thanks Karen for my award. I promise I will get to passing it on asap...

Now for that long laundry list of things I need to journal about....

Let's talk about the TEIS meet since I will be meeting with The Teacher tomorrow. Remember this conversation? and then this victory? Well, I met with the TEIS lady on the 11th (2 Mondays ago) and she interviewed me, a pretty standardized interview. Based on the results she agreed that she should send someone to the house to do an evaluation. I got a rush on the appointment because The Younger is having his Trigger Thumb annihilated on March 8th so we had to have it set before then (it was changed from Feb 15th to March because The AP has gone back to Brazil for 2 weeks to visit and renew her license and visa. Hey, I got to check off another one on my list! "The AP has left the building.") Well, this is the rule. He must be 25% delayed in 2 areas of development OR 40% delayed in 1 area in order to receive services from them. When i first heard that I got a little panicky and started to doubt myself and the need to actually have him evaluated. But the lady reassured me again that I was doing the best thing to get him checked out.

What surprised me was that from her interview, she found 2 areas of delay. I was pretty shocked because neither one of them was sensory processing - which in all fairness was not really a category. But he had delays in communication and fine motor skills. If you know my child, this was a huge shock to me. It must have shown on my face because she immediately started to explain why the results turned up that way. It is the fact that she doesn't form proper phrases until he is repeating a phrase he has already learned and that he tends to perserverate when he is anxious, hurt, or scared. A popular phrase is "I want mommy." Now to someone outside of our family that appears very normal, but he will continue to say this even when I'm clearly in site or even holding and comforting him. Hopefully that is just a phase.

(By the way, The Elder was jamming with some complete, sensible sentences, both questions, statements, and responses to questions....he got his IEP interim report today and it was the first grading period that he showed improvement!! He has already met the majority of his goals all in one interim!! And it only took 5 interim periods!)

The second delay was in fine motor which really threw me off. Mainly because it was his motor skills that pretty much sealed the deal for us to realize that The Elder was delayed in his motor skills - because The Younger was running circles around him, literally and figuratively, for example with feeding himself, opening water bottles, etc. Her explanation was not that he couldn't color, draw, cut, etc, but that he uses his fine motor skills inappropriately. He will break every crayon and peel the paper off of them, but won't color with them. He will take apart pens, flashlights, remote controls, and anything that he thinks he can take apart and sometimes successfully put them back together. He will crack open pistachios and mussels on the shell even though the taste of them repulses him. He just wants to open them for us to eat.

So once she explained all that I sat there with a "Hmmm!" look on my face. Not sure if I had caught on to any of that. And I was supposed to be paying attention! The only things that really got my attention was his anxiety and sensory issues. So we have his evaluation scheduled next week, thanks to the Trigger Thumb surgery. Else it might have been a month!

Would really like other people's input on this or their experience. I don't think he has ASD. I have another meeting with The Teacher tomorrow.

-------------------------------------------

The Need for Routine

There were actually a whole series of these but I could never get Picasa to upload them all. (Note to self: See your C: drive for the rest of these videos...)

If you click on the link above you will see a mighty hilarious show. What you would have gathered from the series of videos is that The Elder had created a little routine to the video. In the one video here it looks like just random "dancing" but it actually was a rather evolved routine. He even told me later, "when the pink lights come, I do this." and he struck a pose (the one where he kinds looks like superman about to take off). It was adorable. In each video there was an new step added to the routine somewhere in there. My favorite? The Jazz Hands (which actually looked like he was waving good-bye).

The more intriguing fact of this event, was that music video he was dancing to was on an informational DVD that directors receive early for the upcoming product launch. We are coming out with a very cool customizable compact (not trying to give myself a plug here but it really adds to the hilarity of this story) with interchangeable products. I guess the mechanical nature of the commercial really fascinated him. He kept telling me that he wanted one. Well, I got a free one when i was in Houston and he stole it from me!!! I gotta figure out how to get that back!

In previous videos if I can get The Hub to post it, you can see The Younger playing his "guitar" using a DVD. It is pretty funny. He said, "I play 'tar.....Daddy play cheese." He was using his camera to video it all. Get it? camera? cheese? Har har har!!

-------------------------------------------

Saw The Super Doc again today solo. I totally love her. How could I be so incredibly blessed to have resources in my life that I click with and truly have my best interest at heart. Keep in mind she is The Hub's Doc, but she wants to make sure that I am sane! I love it! Well, I'm one step closer to trying some treatment for ADHD. Sounds ridiculous to some but I am of the thought if I don't try it, I will never know if I need it or can live without it. So I have about a week until I see the Drug Doc.

fell off the OTHER side of the earth

We are running out of sides of this grand planet to hide...

Yes we are all still trying to get rid of some bugs. I still have a sore throat. The Elder had a single bout of the big D yesterday so I kept him home just in case but he was fine today. We went to SC with a pretty good prognosis, but returned to TN to flurries! I told The Elder, quick come see the snow before it's gone! He dilly dallied like I was lying to him and with great shock and awe, exclaimed, "Yooooooouuurrrrr Right! It IS snowing." Clapped his hands together with brief excitement and then returned to the computer to "unpause" the Thomas video he was watching on YouTube.com.

So much has happened that I want to blog on that I don't know where to start.

I need to journal about

• "giving The Skipperdoodle away"
• "moving the computer furniture by myself"
• "I can be your friend"
• "asking permission to eat gluten and be glutton"
• Valentine's Day and the case of the crabby patty
• The big house that's far far away
  
• Food...it's all in the presentation...
• The AP has left the building
• There's no school on President's Day
• The TEIS meet
• The furniture escapades
• It's all in the BAG!
• The Pit Stop
• The Need for Routine (way overdue)

I'm sure there is more that I'm overlooking but at least I have a list to refer to when I get around to it all. For now, I will check an easy one off my list.

"It's all in the BAG!"
Being a mom, a wife, a business woman, and girlie girl...we have a lot of stuff and we need the perfect catchall bag to carry all that stuff we need to carrying around all the time. Since finding The Book, I have learned to analyze what works for me and what doesn't. My friend, Gwen at Gwendolyn's Gifts is making me a custom tote bag. Here was my request:

I had a thought ab what I need in a purse and when I came home tonight our au pair had something like it. I need something boxy shaped but not hard and not too big. Tough on the outside to suffer some abuse and a light colored lining so I can find things. Long enough straps the I can lift it onto my shoulders without getting my elbow hung. Shaped straps so I don't have to "find" them. Cute but professional. Classic so I can get a lot of use for a long time.

Whew...is tht a little high maintenance?

Gwen was extremely professional and invited me to her home to see some samples. I brought 2 bags that I love and told her what I didn't like about them. She also asked questions that I didn't even think about coming prepared for, like, what color do I want it to be? Seriously, I hadn't even thought of that! But also, what kind of pockets do I want on the inside? (Just one big one on the side that I can dump things into but find easily) and do I want it open or closed (we decided on a single magnetic closure for ease). She took like 4 measurements and this is what she created for me!! What is great is that the rose can be removed and worn as a pin too (another one of her brilliant ideas)! Pretty AND functional! My kinda bag! I haven't seen it in person yet but plan to pick it up tomorrow afternoon. I'm so excited about this I can hardly stand it. Anyhoo, check out her stuff. She is really good!

Bugs Bugs go away

When I left town on January 28th, The Younger was throwing up in the car on the way to the airport (at Too Freakin' Early as the Hub so sweetly says).

Enter the bug fest...

It has since then manifested itself into each family member including The AP. The wet/cool/warm/cold/hot but windy weather has been of no help. The allergens in the lovely TN air from the mold make us feel so wonderfully stuffy. And we've been through 10 boxes of tissues Literally, because The Younger grabs a handful but thinks you only use one per wipe. He then stuffs it BACK into the tissue box - all of them - so we end of tossing a few off the top just in case. We don't want to play lottery with the boogies.

Both were well enough to go to church with me on Friday, but not well enough to not get sick again. So Sunday we missed church again because all 3 of my boys were sick. The Hub slept nearly the whole day on Sunday. The Elder didn't go to school yesterday because of yellowy stuff streaming from his nose. The Younger has been a cling-bot. The AP has laryngitis.

This morning The Elder had a fit to not go to school...

"I want circle pancakes!"

We have been making letter pancakes for sometime now (the royal we). This ended up in a naked battle (him not me) and the easy way/hard way conversation (without the third option). He finally gave in and settled for raisins in the car on the way to school and oatmeal at school. I told The Hub that The Teacher would not have approved of how we handled the situation, but heck, he was dressed, eating, and going to school. Mission accomplished.

The Younger was just as happy as a clam, observing the meltdown central that lasted nearly an hour (no joking). Then I went to work (in my office across from the kitchen) in my pjs, excited about getting something productive done since I felt well enough to do it. All of a sudden I hear wailing. Which is not uncommon when I've sneaked away to work and he can't find me. He only accepts that I'm working when I leave the house. But working IN the house means that I'm fair game to him, so I literally have to sneak around him. But this was different wailing, with intermittent "My ear hurts" between sobs.

Great an ear infection I bet. If he's anything like The Elder, by the time he complained about having RSV, the flu, and a double ear infection (all at the same time) he was on the healing side of the illnesses. Both kids have the pain tolerance of linebackers. But since he was wailing so hard (the real cry, not the fake, I want you attention, cry), I thought I better call the nurse. Well their phone line was BUSY!!! for an HOUR!!! Can you believe it? I even called The Hub at work to try to call too. Finally my heart was breaking enough that I just put him in the car and drove him to the pediatrician's office, getting a busy signal the whole way. About a mile away from the office I get a ring!! Hooray!! But then I was put on hold at the nurses station forever and was actually sitting in the parking lot waiting for a nurse to answer the phone. Finally I thought I would try the front desk instead (they only take appointments so I was trying to get in), but as soon as I hung up I was kicking myself because it was busy the next 3 times I called. Finally I just took him in. Because we were walk-ins he has to go through triage first. Well triage my foot. They looked at him from behind the reception desk and said come back at 3pm. I think that triage sign is just for looks so everyone will make an appointment.

Anyhoo, once we got back home, I gave him some tylenol and took a pretty long nap. As a matter of fact I had to wake him to take back at 3pm.

Aside, The Elder said he wanted to go to the doctor because there are toys there. I said, "not on the sick side." "Oh, then I fink I just stay here."

The whole trip back to the doctor he was my normal happy go lucky kid. "Does your ear still hurt?" "No." Great. All that trouble. Well, he's going to the doctor anyway! We are in the sick side of the waiting room and he's bouncing around and chattering away. Then we go to the exam room and he immediately begins to climb chairs and tables and create a hazard zone like only a 2 year old can. As soon as the nurse comes in - the deer in headlights. She leaves and he's tigger. Then the doctor comes in who happens the be the doctor who gave me the TEIS referral. I took the opportunity to talk to her in person about the TEIS meeting and she gave me some great insight on that. Someone remind to make a separate post about that.

She confirmed that he had a mild ear infection (a 2 on a scale from 0-4) and gave him a prescription which we don't plan on filling. She also isn't an advocate of anti-biotics so I was glad we were on the same page there. She said if it gets worse then start the antibiotics.

And me? I'm fine (knock on wood). I can tell the swelling is down in my glands are down so that is a good sign. Keep you fingers crossed that we will all be healthy before our trip to SC this weekend. Plus The AP is going back to Brazil for 2 weeks and I will really need all the health I can get!!

Find Out How to Get Support

OK I've got a bunch of modest friends. Kudos to you Marla for posting a comment!! You get a big fat mwah from me!!!! Pass it on with pride and love (don't take the easy way like I did...)

Elissa and I have many crossover readers but I want to post this here to get additional feedback. Hop over to Elissa's post and post your comment. I'm going to quote here here for my journaling purposes:

From Managing Autism - A Personal View:

I mentioned in a post a couple of days ago, that my recent search for help and advice with Jack had people asking me where we usually turn for help and assistance when things get tough or ‘challenging’ or when we just need to talk through stuff…..

A friend of mine spoke to me recently about the troubles that she was facing with people close to her - that they were insensitive to her and her child in relation to her child’s autism. She was becoming increasingly upset with the thoughtless remarks, and was at a loss as to what to do and how to approach the issue with these people… particularly when many of the insensitivities were displayed in public and she didn’t want to cause any problems between herself and these people…..

And I posted a while ago on a topic that many parents of children with autism face - that of being judged by others, and the grief of self judgement.

So all of this has had me thinking… when times are difficult and especially challenging with our children, when people are insensitive to our needs and our children’s needs, and when we’re going through the times of self-judgement and judgement from others - where do we go for support, and who do we find support from…?

… and then how do we deal with the unsupportive influences in our lives…?

I am very fortunate to have my parents who are very supportive of Jack’s needs and our needs as a family. I also rely heavily on my blogging friends for a support network of others who are facing similar things in their lives - and who are very generous with advice and support! I visit an online forum when I can, and I do have a couple of friends who I can call on for a ‘chat’ when things get tough and I need a friendly understanding face.

And of course, there are a couple of people close to us who really have no interest in recognising Jack’s Autism Spectrum Disorder, or maybe they do recognise it, but they just don’t stop to think that perhaps their thoughts and actions (or lack of thought and action) are hurtful and unsupportive…

But where else does the support come from?

Some of the professionals and therapists we have worked with over time have been incredibly supportive - both practically speaking and from an emotional aspect as well…

… but what do people do, and where do people go when they have little support around them?

… and how do people handle others around them who are totally insensitive… surely there must be a way to deal with the thoughtless remarks whilst still maintaining some sort of relationship with people.

I’d really love to hear people’s thoughts and ideas on this… for myself, for my friend, and for all of us…

… after all, we all need support.

I had a strong reaction to the following comments:

Marita Says:
"The other problem is one sister-in-law and her husband who can not understand and think I am over reacting and there is nothing wrong. I emailed all our family when Heidi got into Kalparrin Early Intervention to celebrate our great news. Problem SIL reply was “and this is good?”."

Casdok Says:
"As to insensitive remarks, you do grow a thick skin. But sometimes it isnt enough."

Marla Says:
"We have lost lots of friends and I would say that visually M does not appear to have that many difficulties, at first. That could be why many friends just don’t get it. Over time they don’t want to hear about it and it really upsets me when they don’t offer any supportive words or go on and on about every little achievement their children are making and then act bored when I talk about M.

But, complaining does not help the situation. I guess I have found it is easier to let friends go and distance from family that just does not get it. I don’t have the energy anymore to put up with dumb comments."

Lou Says:
"And now Zach is in a school where they are ALL geeks, all brilliant - all special. So he doesn’t stand out like a sore thumb anymore. He fits in. And he has blossomed and prospered. Of all of the issues and people he has encountered in his life, it has been his contemporaries who have caused him the most bother. And now that he is in an environment where his contemporaries are just as blissfully unaware of their surroundings as he is - they don’t look for the ‘oddball’, single him out, verbally, emotionally and physically abuse him - he feels safe to be himself."

And I just love Sheri's attitude that she has learned to develop. I can relate to her comment in nearly every way.

Click here to view all of the responses thus far. I've only read the first 6 as of right now, as that is all there is but I suspect there will be more because this is an issue that truly needs addressing. You may not have a child with ASD, but maybe ADHD or some special needs. Where do you get your support?

♦XOXOXOXO♦

Thanks to Tulipmom for awarding me a "chaste kiss given to say thank you for friendships and comments in the blogosphere." Highly ironic as I feel like I have been quite elusive these days in the blogosphere. It is nice to know I have not been forgotten! But one thing I wanted to pass on to The Hub is his contribution to her blurb on her post:

Thank you Jen for the award and even more importantly, thank you for sharing your son's and husband's journeys with Aspergers. As I've told you already, there's no question in my mind that your openness about your husband's struggle helped me come to my realization this past week. I will be forever grateful for that.

Need the background info on that? Click here, here, and here.

I know TM reads his blog too which I think is just as revealing and offers a different perspective than just me as the "poor wife" (not looking for sympathy with that one, anyone who is in our situation knows that at some point(s) you feel that way and wonder why me, but I can argue just as well that I am a very rich wife). TM, I'm so grateful for you too!! Here's 10 points coming your way!

If you haven't read The Hub's blog yet, then you don't follow links very well as I think I link to him constantly if it isn't a race report or too graphic take a moment to pop over and visit him. I think he is highly entertaining. I learn a lot from his blog...like how he liked POT enough to buy it but might now be regretting it...

I have a hard time giving out awards because I love everyone sooooo much (see my blogroll) and I cherish every comment that I get. And since I know that not every blog I read is in my blogroll, here's my chance to get to add you to it! So I guess everyone who comments to this post (well the good comments, that is) gets a big fat juicy one from me and I'll make it official in a subsequent post for you to pass on to your loved ones in the blogosphere.

Sick but productive...

OK, I got my share of the bug... Getting over it as we speak but still haven't had anything to eat in over 24 hours. Almost 30 hours.

But the good news is that before I got sick sick yesterday I was able to get the TEIS referral for The Younger. The Teacher had coached me on what to say when I asked for the referral. Seeing that The Younger's fine motor skills are that of an 8 year old, she said that just asking for an OT evaluation wouldn't suffice, because he would pass the fine motor skills testing with flying colors. Instead she suggested I use words like desensitizing, and higher than normal anxiety, even using the word "daredevil." One thing that I thought to add on my own was the fact that he picks at his scabs and lips until they bleed. I got a good reaction out of them with that one. My final statement included something like, "His brother has Asperger's so we were told to lay low as he might be learning these behaviors but when I was seeing a different kind of sensory processing in him, and the increase in anxiety, I began to worry." Her immediate reaction was "Yes we can do the referral and you are absolutely doing the right thing."

That made me feel so good. I guess because I wasn't going to be a warrior about this but knew that if he could get into OT it would be great, but that if he didn't, it wouldn't be the end of the world, especially since we have The Super Doc and The Teacher to kind of give us advice along the way, not to mention the experience we have with The Elder. But to have someone else acknowledge that you are doing the right thing for your child and it involves getting him help (state funded help for that matter), it really is a pat on the back. It makes me grateful for not waiting because he will be 3 later this year and would be "too old" for TEIS. So how blessed am I to have people in my life who are bringing this to my attention before I missed the boat?? Thank goodness for people who are teaching me to be a warrior instead of succumbing to complacency. Mandolin Mom taught me a phrase today that I'm excited about using..."Well, this is unacceptable." Scares me a little, but I'll have to put on my big girl panties on one of these days because my boys need me to be a warrior for them. I won't always have The Teacher in my court...

Also yesterday before the major sickies I was able to write this letter:

February 4, 2008

To Whom it May Concern:

This is in response to the letter asking parental feedback regarding the upcoming year. One of the things that pleases me the most about the current program that my child is in, is that not only is he in a structured setting but he is also learning. He has made more progress in the last 4 months than he has with OT and ST alone. At the previous 4 preschools that he attended, the structure was much looser and the agenda was based on the typical children and left no room for dealing with sensory issues, leaving him misunderstood and being asked to leave each program. The program at KES has teachers and aides who not only understand how to handle the autism, but also is firm in what my child needs in order to "survive" kindergarten and dedicated to working with the parents to help in transitions.

My biggest fear for the upcoming year is that my only 3 options would be:

• Send him to Regular Ed Kindergarten at a very young age (DOB 7/08/03) without any resources.
• Send him to private PreK, the very same situation as the previous 4 schools who could not handle him.
• Keep him home which would lack the proper structure he needs to prepare him for Kindergarten.

My suggestion would be having a transition class that is structured just like Kindergarten. He would attend the same hours he would as if he were in Kindergarten, 5 days a week. The only way we know how he will handle the transition of kindergarten is to simulate it as closely as possible. This includes perhaps having a "reverse" inclusion setup where typical children would be in the classroom, but at an even ratio, or 2:1 ratio of Asperger children to typical children. I think doing it this way will ease the transition as my child relates to typical children at a slower pace, rather than bombarding him with 20 typical children at one time AND expecting him to perform his studies. Not only might that cause problems for the teacher staff, but might negatively affect the other children's learning, and negatively affect my son's self-esteem and confidence.

I really hope that this is seriously considered. As of right now, my child does not have an option that is in his best interest. I do not want to lose the progress that you all have worked so hard to make with him during this year. Please feel free to contact me if you need any more clarifications or additional input.

Thanks,

Lastly, I got a solo session with The Super Doc today. It was good. I guess I'll leave it at that. She does a good job of making me feel like I'm not a screw up!

The Good, The Bad, and The Pretty...

Yes I was in bed all day yesterday. No I wasn't sick sick like the poor family was while I was away. I was just totally zoned out and had no appetite. I guess that is the Bad. But hey, it was our day of rest...literally.

My glands are still swollen but at least I am functional today. The Good includes being able to catch the tail end of the superbowl. I really hate that I missed most of it but I think I truly saw the best part. I also hate I missed the commercials and the half time show. The other Good part is that I proceeded this morning in business as usual fashion. Well, business as usual in theory fashion, but today it wasn't theory it was reality. Here it is not even 10:30 yet and I've done everything on my "have to do" list!!!! I still have some on my "nice to do" list but I guess blogging would be on that list.

The Pretty includes how I feel. Usually Mondays are paperwork days, no appointments, no shower, leave on the pjs til noon type of days. But this morning after I got The Elder ready for school, I got ready...fixed my hair, put my face on (mascara and lipgloss and all), got dressed, and tackled the computer like it was a date or something.

Anyhoo, I'm having video conversion issues with the Need for Routine post that I promised everyone but I haven't forgotten. But I'll take a moment now to update everyone on The Teacher's visit.

Again, I have thoroughly convinced everyone that she is a goddess??? Well, she came and sat down and we didn't the normal, what have you implemented and what is working and what needs work, etc. I took an old hand towel from my mom's that was monogrammed and obviously very loved because it was about to fall apart. "Hey, mom, are you attached to this or can I have it?" I gave it to The Elder for his string tick. You could tell even in his emotionless reaction that he was relieved to have something that was OK to pull and break the strings on. So that was a "check" on the review. Unfortunately there are no more string to pull, but The Teacher suggested that I cut the fringe to simulate hair-cutting so he can be desensitized to falling hair. Hmmmm, interesting, though I think I'll pass on that. He actually did great with hair cutting this weekend. I didn't do a whole lot. Just trimmed the ducktail in the back and his bangs. I think if it grows out a little bit his cowlicks won't be such a pain.

Somehow the conversation came up about The Younger and some of the things that I was concerned about and she asked me to going into detail. I did and she sweetly suggested that I call his pediatrician to get a TEIS referral (Early Intervention - I'm not sure what the T and S stand for. My guess is Tennessee and perhaps Services) to get him into OT right away. She is so smart. She said, "There is nothing wrong with what he is doing but if he can get some Early Intervention, he can learn to control himself and learn other boundaries now versus learning them later when there could be worse consequences" (I think she was referring to adolescent behaviors and temptations like teen sex, drugs, etc.). Now The Elder's Psychologist told us to just watch him until he was 4 (some magic age) because much of what he does might be from mimicking his brother, which I totally agree. However, The Youngers Sensory issues are much different than The Elder's. The Elder has predominantly Sensory Aversions, whereas The Younger is Sensory Seeking. This explains alot. I'm not going to be a warrior on this like I was with The Elder because we both agreed that we didn't believe he has autism. But knowing what I know now about myself and my family and likewise about The Hub's and his family, it doesn't hurt to try to do whatever I can to get him help early. I often wonder how I might be different now had Early Intervention existed when i was a kid. My sensory issues can be just as hard to tolerate as The Hub's or The Elder's, and now The Younger's. But I am more confident about him because I was a Sensory Seeker as a little one and enough falling desensitized me. (Of course I was a cheerleader in college and really got hurt before I was desensitized but hey, better late than never.) If he has the special, inexplicable ability that I had to be aware of where you are in space, then falling was nothing to be afraid of (it somehow turned into falling gracefully) . I've never broken a bone in all of my dare devil antics (I've broken other people's bones and burned other people's legs jumping off motorcycles). I have my shared of aversions that bug the mess out of The Hub. Primarily my smell (olfactory - is that right?), texture in foods, and tactile defensiveness. I digress...

So The Teacher was a huge advocate in getting The Younger some help. Hey, anything to make a 2 year old more manageable! HAHAHAHA!

Now for The Elder, he has been constantly amazing me. I can still see his struggles but his ability to handle them has increased so much. You can see his little brain working. He's even joking now. This morning he didn't want to go to school (I'm going to need to find out what this trigger is - The Teacher insists it is normal but I'm ready for it to be booted out of our routine) so I ended up having to pick him up and carrying him to his room. It was actually cute, I had him behind the knees and he was sitting in my arms like he had fallen into the toilet or something. He could only kick his legs from the knee down which were away from my body. Very effective I must say. But we went about the morning routine and he was being defiant the whole time. Finally I said...

"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The easy way is where you get ready by yourself. The hard way is where you have NO CONTROL over getting ready."

"How 'bout........the medium way???"

I didn't know whether to be mad, proud, or burst out laughing!

All it takes is a shot of...

Like I said in a previous post, if I had know that January was going to be so crazy I would have taken some vitamins. Well, I should be taking vitamins anyway just because.

Well other than picking the BEST WEEK to be away from my family (See The Hub's post), I knew that my trip to Houston was going to be packed and I needed all the energy I could spare. So we took a trip to Sam's Club to get me some Centrum (the kind you only have to take one pill a day - nice). While we were there I cam across Glacial Milk Compete Nutrition. One ounce contains a butt-load of nutrients. One bottle's suggested retail is 40 bucks but at Sam's it was only like 20. Anyhoo, I took a swig of that before I left for the airport and then took the centrum around lunch time and let me tell you. I lasted from 3:45am until 11:30pm with literally no resting - oh wait, I did catnap on the plane for about 10-15 minutes. When I got back to the hotel at the end of the day, I had to shower because of the humidity and the walking around, and laid in bed and STILL had to play a Sudoku game to fall asleep. It had to be almost 1am (EST) by the time I fell asleep. I was way impressed. The next 2 days were just as jammed packed but I didn't have The Shot of Glacial Milk and I did have to hunt down a Starbucks both of those days.

Since being back, I've been so tired but started back on The Shot of GM and have been so impressed with my ability to function. Thursday I was on The Younger Duty at 6:30am but The Gma picked him up around 10. So my plan was to take a nap to catch up from the trip but I got on the computer and started being productive. Wassupwiddat? Then I had a great time with the kids in the afternoon and got ready for my Dream Dinner with my consultants for that night, coming home around 9pm. Then yesterday I was supposed to bring a Non-Sweet snack to my bible study so I couldn't back out of it. Plus I like being able to bring the kids to the nursery they provide at the church to give The AP a break. I got home in time to eat and welcome The Teacher to the house for our monthly meeting. Which again was awesome. (I'll post another on that and I haven't forgotton about the Routine Post I've promised everyone). Then I was late for an appointment with Gwen (Check out her stuff - it was the first time I got to see everything in person and LOVED it all. Gwen, I'll trade you one of your fab scarves for a mascara anyday!). Then it was date night. Originally I just wanted to rent a movie and stay home because I thought that I would be just totally beaten down. Then I called The Hub on the way to Gwen's to see if he wanted to eat out. Then at the restaurant I asked if he wanted to go to the dollar theatre. Unfortunately it was past time to catch anything earlier than 10pm. So we stuck to the original rent-a-movie idea. On the way home, The Hub said he was going to stop at Big Lots and I was like, I want to go to Big Lots too. So I met him there and we stayed there until it closed! By the time we got home (The Hub stopped to get the movie and I went straight home) I came inside and started being being productive again. Crazy I know. When I went to go find The Hub to watch the movie....he had fallen asleep! It was only 10:30, but he had had a pretty rough week (See his post again) and I suppose he needed his rest....

Saturday morning, I slept in but honestly, I wish I had gotten up sooner because I had a lot of stuff I wanted to do today. Anyhoo, I better close this because I'm expecting a customer at 2pm. RUN to your local Sam's Club and grab yourself some of this stuff!