Terry Speaks

Thanks Terry for your insightful comments. It is nice for you to contribute to our understanding and I hope that you leave comments often. I know how hard you are working to make this work for us and to be a good father and I appreciate it so much.

I read in one article (no reference now but will try to find it-I might have already referenced it, let me know if I did and you read the link) that aspies are better at writing down their feelings than speaking them. It encourages aspie to keep a journal that they can refer back on to study themselves and their emotions. Even as his wife of 11 years, I don't always know what is going on inside. I used to joke that I would go to read his blog to learn about what's going on with him because he wrote there daily and I'd be lucky if we had even a conversation, and when we did, of course I was the one who started it. It really made me feel like a bad wife and friend. And even when the big D crossed my mind I would always think that no one would understand why I'm not happy, because no one knows how it is behind closed doors (except maybe for his mom since she raised him). They see the happy go lucky, witty and charming, smiley Terry. Not that that Terry doesn't exist, I just didn't see that Terry very often at home - even though I knew that that was the Terry he really wanted to be. I am truly happy for Terry (and me) that we are learning how to handle the communication gap. It has been liberating for both of us. We still have good days and bad days, but the good days lately have grossly outweighed the bad ones.

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