I'm dreaming of a...

That's what I did...dream...practically all Christmas. I got a little over-indulgent in the gluten department. I'm not 100% convinced that the "sleep until 10:30am" morning and the "5-hour nap" in the afternoon was a result of the 15 eclairs and cream puffs I had. Because if I were, then that would mean I would never be able to eat them ever again. I think I still had some ill effects from the half of a biscuit I ate at Bojangles, but NOT from the cream puffs. (read: denial)

Christmas Eve was pretty low-key. NOT. The kids were all over the place. The Bouncy balls were the best things ever to keep them active in the house without destroying something. We ate pretty late for each meal so talk about throwing our schedule off. I start to forget whether or not we have fed them. That is bad. very bad. As we speak, The Elder is yelling in the back of the van "I'm Hungry" and I look at the clock and it is 6:30pm! Yikes! They haven't eaten since 11:30 this morning! Well, we are going to stop at the next exit to eat and then I'll finish this post...

OK, we are dedicated Starbucks drinkers... We just went around our butt to find one. That calls for a Venti....

Family tradition usually has us opening gifts at midnight after Christmas Eve dinner. However, The 6yo With The No Tooth and The 8yo With The Bendy Glasses have a track record of not making it past 8pm on normal occasions so The Brother (their father) decided 10pm would be the new midnight. Opening presents was fun this year because The Elder understood that that is what you do on Christmas. However I couldn't get his focus off his 2nd present (racing cars) long enough for him to open the rest of his presents. So we kept them for the next day as rewards.

Because I was off in Dreamland most of Christmas day, The Elder lacked some serious structure. By the end of the day, he was not only hyper, but impulsive and aggressive. I was very frustrated because I knew it could have all been prevented had I been conscious, and also frustrated because I really didn't know what to tell The Cousins who were getting the brunt of it, because I don't think they know about his diagnosis so I didn't want to use it as an excuse. So as "discipline" I made The Elder bounce 10 laps around the ping pong table and he wasn't allowed to open a present that night. (We still have like 5 presents for them each to open!) Have you found yourself in this situtaion? And if so I'd like to hear how you handled it...or wish you had handled it.

Now, according to The Lola, Santa got stuck at the North Pole and wasn't able to deliver the presents on Christmas Eve so we didn't wake up to overflowing stockings Christmas morn. The Hub was disappointed because Santa usually brings us chocolate. Coincidently my parents have been abroad for the last month on a mission trip and was exempt from Christmas shopping beforehand. So Santa and The Lola struck up some plan to have her just take us all shopping instead to make up for both of their lack. So we went to the outlet mall today in Myrtle Beach to find some goodies.

Updated at 11:33pm (computer battery died in the car)
We actually went to Barnes and Nobles first because I wanted to get the book about organizing for the right brainers (I can't remember if I blogged about that or not, but The Brother and I were discussing it) and a much needed Starbucks fix. The Hub dropped me and The Lola off so we didn't have to drag the kids in there and she ran off to the bathroom and said she would catch up with me. In my quest to find this book, I came across the psychology shelf and, out of habit, stopped to browse. Driven to Distraction caught my eye, but I felt like the title was a little negative. Well, then I saw its sequel Delivered from Distraction. Much more positive title, so I picked it up instead. The first chapter is called "Read this if you can't read the whole book." Now THAT'S my kind of book! I scanned the other Adult ADHD topics when my mom came up behind me...

"Did you get your book already."
"Oh, no not yet, I got distracted."

My nonchalant, inadvertently ironic comment made me giggle. I knew right then I was going to buy that book!

Next Stop: Target. There are some wooden trains in the Hot Spot that The Kiddos went wild over. The Elder calls them "The Trains with No Face." I'll post pictures one day. We bought our Christmas New Year's Cards to be delivered sometime after we get The Kiddos Holiday Pictures made. Will probably take advantage of The Hub photographic talents this year and save on some moolah.

Finally we arrived at the Tanger Outlets. I had a goal to find new patent leather dress shoes. I went to every shoe store. Found the perfect pair (on sale too) at Nine West. However they didn't have my size. We got quite a few things for the kids and a few decoration for the house for next year (The Elder really wanted a star for the treetop next year, as opposed to the angel), but I walked away from our "Santa went AWOL" shopping spree with only the book. I looked at The Sister-In-Law and said, "So this is the mommy syndrome...all that shopping and nothing to show for it...I must be growing up."

We did have a nice trip to see my side of the family. It was great to see and spend time with my nephews. It was humbling to see how grown my niece is now that she is a college girl. It was nice to meet my sister's significant other. It was fulfilling to see The AP enjoy The Lola and The Tita's (my aunt) filipino cooking as it reminded her of Brazilian cuisine. I was thankful that The Brother and The Sister-In-Law joined us today, since I usually don't get to tell them good-bye. It was particularly uplifting to be sad to go. Usually within 24 hours I'm ready to haul tail out of dodge, but this year was different. I felt like it was time to go home sooner than I wanted. If I didn't have to work tomorrow, I'd probably would have convinced myself to stay an extra day.

We left about 3 hours later than we planned but still arrived in TN at a decent time. The Kiddos insisted on watching the Blues Clues Holiday DVD THE ENTIRE 8 HOUR DRIVE HOME. I bought them Polar Express (which they have been whining about all week to see) and we had to stop it 20 minutes into the movie because of The Younger's request. (The Elder was asleep. I imagine he would have argued this had he not been.) But even once he woke up, there was no switching movies. It was cute to hear The Younger sing "We just got a letter" and The Elder sing "Spin, Dreidel, Spin." I, personally, ran the juice out my computer catching up on blogs and then ran the juice out of my cell phone playing Spider Solitaire and Sodoku. Whew, it's nice to be home! I've dedicated myself to go back on the gfcr diet, limiting casein to cheese and only once a week and only outside of the home. I figured I'd feel less guilty if I gave myself some leeway. And....no more cream puffs.

"Are you kidding me?"

This was the response from my brother after I asked, "Is there a Starbucks in town?"

I wasn't sure if it was "duh, there are Starbucks everywhere" answer, or if it was "we don't have anything in our dinky town" answer. It was the latter. We didn't plan our consumption very well on this trip. We assumed way too much, so our food routine has been off the last 24 hours. Actually our whole routine is but I figured, better to do this on a trip AWAY from home than in our own home. No blender for The Hub's daily smoothies. Because tax is cheaper in SC (like by 5%!) we decided to wait until we got here to purchase groceries since we get the organic-gluten-free-casein-free-costs-an-arm-and-a-leg brands and every little bit helps. So we had very little food to choose from. We found a KFC during the trip and peeled off the breading to get it as gluten-reduced as possible. (Here's a picture of The Younger discovering he like corn-on-the-cob. Was NOT a fun diaper to change later especially since I didn't think about bringing a sprayer.) We made a box of hash browns for breakfast and noticed in the ingredients that there is wheat flour in it (I guess to keep the potatoes from sticking together). The kids have been super hyper today and I looked at The Hub saying "no more gluten for them." He laments, "why does gluten turn us into zombies and they go freakin' crazy?" Well, The Lola (my mom) only knew of one place to go (because we scoped 2 grocery stores in town that had nothing organic, much less gluten-free) and we stocked up on some goods for the kids that they (and we) can handle.

---------------------------------
So we come in yesterday and The Elder goes crazy running around the house. He goes up to The Lola and says in shock and awe, "You got TWO uv em???? One over there and one over there?" I realized he was speaking of TVs. We only have one TV upstairs in our house and we have taken the the cable out of the wall. So they had 2 channels going simultaneously on ABC family watching The Incredibles and USA watching Christmas Vacation so that those in the kitchen were bombarded by clashing noises. This morning, we were serenaded by Spongebob at breakfast. I looked at The Hub and said, we have got to buy some toys to lure these kids away from the tube. So we went out today and got these.



---------------------------------
The Kiddos immediately took ALL (all 832 of them) the throw pillows off the couches and onto the floors. This is acceptable in our house because we have crappy furniture. My parents however have really nice furniture, the kind I'd like to have one day when I grow up. The Lola was hilarious when she decided, "Maybe tomorrow I'll have to establish some house rules." I interjected, "Maybe now?"

"Rule #1: Pillows are not toys."

So The Hub made a sign and taped it onto the oven and printed that for The Elder to read.

---------------------------------
Today was the first time The Younger met his cousins and the first time The Elder noticed them. Collectively, they are ages 2, 4, 6, and 8. Isn't that cute? (Since there are more of them, I couldn't called them The Cousin.) Well, The 8yo announces "I have glasses now....Are yours as bendy as mine?" and then later over dinner he looks at me and proclaims, "did you know that animals are connected to sound waves?" So the smarty pants are obviously hand-me-downs, except each kid keeps the smarts before passing it on. The Elder isn't that great with names yet until after the 2nd or 3rd meeting so as he was calling after them "Hey, 2 guys...." and then later trying to get The 6yo's attention, he calls after him, "Hey....the one with the no tooth." I thought I would die laughing.

The 6yo With No Tooth shares The Younger's love for bananas. We don't understand why he put it on his head. I think The Younger has a classic sensory look on his face as that peel gets a little too close to his face. Here you can see The Elder indulging his most recent compulsion, flipping the light switches on and off.

"Rule #2: Light switches are not toys."

---------------------------------
"We need a napkin." (uh-oh)
"What happened?"
"He has tomato on his shirt."

My immediate thought was bloody nose, then worse I thought about the bottle of ketchup on the table. But then I see The 8yo With The Bendy Glasses with a whole Cosco-sized container of cherry tomatoes, feeding them to The Elder.

"Don't be eating those on the couch!!" (remember, it's nice furniture.) At least he got the Elder eating tomatoes, um, unless he spit them out and that is why it was on his shirt. The Hub thought ahead while he was in there, and removed the squeeze bottle of potentially projectile ketchup from the table while reciting, the next rule...

"Rule #3: Tomatoes are not toys."

---------------------------------

Off to deal with totally overstimulated kids...

Reading & Comprehension

Those were always my lowest scores on those standardized tests in grade school. I remember that by the time I was in high school I was very aware of this deficit (being the over high achiever that I am) and would concentrate so hard on the passage trying to figure out exactly what questions they would ask on the next page and I'd scanned the paragraphs in an attempt to memorize the whole thing. I still got low scores because the older I got, the harder and more complex the questions. I've been overanalyzing myself these days in light of The Elder's diagnosis and then the recent suggestion by The Super Doc in our last three sessions that I am classic ADHD. I'm not exactly sure what about me is so classic, but as much as I hate to admit it, the more I talked (just being myself - finally to that point with her), the more she pointed out my traits. Dang it. Just what I needed, another lightbulb moment to explain the madness I call daily life. Now I have to follow the a-ha! trail back to my childhood (that's the OCD in me, which I've always owned up to! Ha!). Reminds me of this post by Kristina. I always wondered why both my siblings have a passion for reading and I rarely ever finish a book (though I did finish Look Me in the Eye). I like to read. I love to learn. But I have to concentrate so hard to focus that sometimes I have to read out loud to myself. And I might get really excited about something that I learned in the first chapter that I'll go make life applications based on that and never finish the book! I know I'm not alone so I'm not ashamed. I just always wondered how my brother could read The Hobbit in 2 days when he was in the 6th grade and I can barely get past reading the title as an adult. The Super Doc doesn't push medication but strongly suggested it with each time I put my foot in my mouth and showed my adhd colors. Well, see my last Success Sunday quote. The good news is that I'm already on the gluten-free-casein-free reduced diet. If I see no significant change then I'll stop the meds. I'm specifically looking for consistent executive functioning skills. I tend to be one extreme or the other. The scenario that really gets me is when I spend all day on my agenda, that by the time I'm done, it's bedtime and the day is over. I think that is why I do well flying by the seat of my pants. The no-reading thing I can live with.

So this post wasn't really about MY reading and comprehension skills, but The Elder's. As you recall I have witnessed him read an entire book by himself. Well, The AP takes them to the library every Friday while I'm at a church group meeting and they check out books and videos (that has actually been great for shaking up his routine. "Sorry we returned that book to the library already, pick a different book."). Well, today after doing some great pretending (The Elder was the bus driver, I was his little girlfriend on the bus, and The Younger was The Elder on the bus - it was hilarious. We also pretended to be in the classroom, but once I told him that the bus driver doesn't go to class, maybe he should be The Teacher, he decided he wanted to be himself so that he could pick a (PECS) card and play games. Then he told me what to say..."Now you say, 'You may now go to your centers.' Say it, just like that."), we decided to read some library books because we hadn't cracked into them over the weekend and he pulls out a sequel.

"Are you going to read it to me?"
"No, you read it."
"Let's take turns."
"OK, you first."
"It was Easter morning...your turn."
"The Easter Bunny hid ten hot-paynk (TN twang for pink) marshmallow...I like marshmallows...chickens, um, chicks. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall over the house."

We continued like this until I smelled The Younger. So I leave The Elder on the couch with the book to go change a diaper (Yay! It was solid). As I was cleaning him up and spraying off the diaper (we tend to always forget to use a liner when he poops), I could hear The Elder continue to read aloud. It was so cute! He was using proper story-telling inflections in his voice. He read the rest of the book by himself! You can tell when looking over his shoulder that he doesn't sound words out as much as he tries to recognize the word first. Like saying chicken first, then correcting himself to say chick. In the past, he has said "away" instead of "always"; "engine" instead of "english"; "violin" instead of "vitamin"; etc etc.

Well, I thought I would test his comprehension level and skimmed the book and started asking questions about the the story and he got all of the questions right!

"What color were Ruby's chicks?"
"Paynk"
"What color were Max's chicks?"
"Lellow...and they go pop pop pop pop through the mail pop."
"Mail pop?"
"I mean mail slot."
"How many chicks did he get?"
"Just ten."

I verified with The AP that she hadn't read the book to him before, so it was his first time reading that book. Gushing with pride. Watch out standardized tests! We got a genius on our hands!

Tis the season for "making" "cookies"

Ok, so I don't get the Martha Stewart award when it comes to baking, or cooking, or much in the kitchen for that matter unless there are directions on the box for how long I need to microwave it. Well, I can do magic in the crockpot. Of course the only thing I need to do it put the stuff in there and then turn it on. It's not that I CAN'T cook (with guidelines), I just don't enjoy it as much as The Hub, therefore, he and the microwave takes turns providing nutritional means for us. Well, I have 2 cookie stories for you. I've posted all of the pictures in the slideshow on the sidebar.

Sugar Cookies...

Good ole fashion gfcf sugar cookies. One of The Elder's classmate's mom send us some gfcf flours and the recipe to try. First, I never make cookies from scratch and if I do, The Hub is there to supervise and then eventually take over. The Gma was coming over so I thought I was safe. Nope. That made it worse because now I'm feeling the pressure (where do you think The Hub got his baking talent?), but kindly enough I was not chastised for pitching the rolling pin and flattening out the dough with my hands. The Gma brought us a large assortment of cookie cutters to use. I let them pick out which ones they wanted to use, so among the Christmas Trees and ornament, we also had a Christmas Question Mark, a Christmas Hand and Foot, a Christmas "L," and a Christmas "Z." Oh, and the Christmas "X" which was accidentally stretched out to look like a Cross.Ten points to the first person who correctly identifies the mass to the left of the foot.

These were ALL the sugar cookies we made. All Ten of them. The Elder did well with the sensory portion. He hated touching the butter, but once we started cutting the shapes he had a lot of fun squishing and flattening the dough. Maybe a little too much...I bit into a cookie that had dog hairs in it. ho hum. We now only have enough batter left to make about 3 cookies. It was some yummy cookie dough - and a LOT easier to do it that way.

Gingerbread Cookfins...

In this post, we were preparing for upcoming food art projects. Fast forward 2 weeks later and we still haven't done the banana pops and we finally got around to the Gingerbread Train. Well, attempting to make it. In the interim we lost the box to the cookie mix. This is disastrous to me (see first paragraph). We looked through the recycle box but we cannot find that one. I went online to this particular company's website and lo and behold they can a recipe link on their site! Woo hoo! With much confidence, I start rattling off the instructions from the computer to The Hub. Still being drugged from his procedure (at least that is the excuse I'm using), he questions the instructions but listens to me anyway.

"Really? Two eggs?"
"That's what it says."
"Are you sure we use that much oil?"
I point to the computer screen.
"Ok."

Well, it was not quite the consistency we were hoping for.Yes, that would be the kids spooning the dough into the cookie mold. The Elder was not too excited about the drippiness of the cookie dough. It was not what he expected (or any of us for that matter). We had to get him to pose for this picture. I think I got 2-3 shots of that ONE scoop he participated in before hanging out on the yoga mat.

Needless to say, the trains didn't turn out. We couldn't even get the cooked matter out of the mold in one piece. They tasted pretty darn good though. Since we were in charge of refreshments at Sunday School this morning, we used the rest of the dough/batter for mini-muffins. They got hard pretty fast, so they were firm like a cookie, but airy like a muffin. We got lots of compliments on them, despite my lame attempt to explain to them exactly what they were. One of my friends said,

"They're Cookfins!"

So there, a new tradition? Try it! All the cool kids are doing it.

Trip to the Doc

This was actually a well-check up for The Elder for his 4th year of existence. I really hadn't expected it to take as long as it did but The Younger came too and missed a nap because of it.

This was the first time The Elder had been to the pediatrician since his diagnosis. It didn't occur to me until we had to fill out the PDQ form. This was the first time that he struggled with the questionnaire. We cheated and answered all of the questions (instead of stopping at 3 no's). The ones he got Yeses to were all non-verbal questions like, "which one moos?" "which is red?" "which is longer?" which he answered correctly without much thought. The ones he got Nos to were all motor skills and language questions like copying a circle or plus sign, drawing a person, hopping on one foot, balancing on one foot, "what do you do when it's cold?" "what is a chair?" "what is a pencil?" There were more of the latter and he hit 3 no's pretty soon. I was devastated at the black and white of his abilities.

When we saw The Doctor, he was fascinated at his diagnosis (evidently they haven't received the report from the psychologist's office yet) and asked a ton of questions. These were the very same questions that I used to get really defensive about when other people asked them. But since he's been going to his special class, I have much more confidence in what he is and is not capable of doing and which ones are significant and which are not, and the significant ones don't seem like such a huge mountain anymore. A blip, if I may steal vocabulary from Kristen, that needs special attention for now, but will get better after an inconvenience. The Doctor was there long enough to witness their chaotic, no-nap behavior The Elder's speech limitations and recognized where he was using scripts and when he was not. I was satisfied with that. I also told him that he could read.

"What book can you read all by yourself?"
"Max and Ruby's ABC Book."

The Doctor says, "Oh is he recognizing words now?"
So I grab a piece of paper of recommended books that they just gave me and gave it to The Elder. "What does this say?"

"The Little Engine That Could" (OK that was kinda cheating as we have like 4 versions of that)
"Keep Going..."
"Mittens....Marshmallows! Oh I like marshmallows! I hold the bag."
(That's his job when we make s'mores though he doesn't eat them. He prefers the marshmallows in the "raw." Must be a sensory aversion to gooey. We no longer indulge ourselves in s'mores since it is the opposite of gfcf.)

So it was an interesting trip to the Doc. Didn't have to ask for a probiotic for The Younger as he was recovering, see The Hub's post. But The Elder did have to get a shot and I feel terribly guilty. I didn't know he was due and I struggled with "do I tell him or do I just let them do it?" If the former he may flail wildy in opposition and The Nurse wouldn't be able to approach him. If the latter he may flail wildly in opposition when The Nurse approached him with the needle. Well, I did the latter. I don't know if it was the right decision or not, but he got nicked a little when he jerked (he was laying there so willingly and innocently). He cried for a LONG time. It wasn't a "I'm in pain" cry, it was a "My feelings are hurt" cry. At one point he even sobbed, "I can't stop crying." My heart breaks everytime I replay that in my head. I know he will remember the next time we go which will be his kindergarten check, hopefully not that is.

Well, it has a good ending. They both fell asleep on the way home and I had 2 deliveries to make, so it was a nice resting period for a no-nap day.

Lots of Sugar, No Nap, No Gingerbread House

That sounds like a nightmarish subject title, but I dare say today has been a good day.

This morning I actually woke up without feeling the need to turn over and go back to sleep so I might be over the change-in-meds hump. I even ate 2 breakfasts! Ok, wait, that's not good. But I haven't really been eating well lately and The Hub found some Gluten Free bagels that are sooooo yummy. Unfortunately when I looked at the ingredients, about half way down it lists skim milk powder. Really? In Bagels? Bummer!

My assistant came in early this morning because she requested a meeting with me so I skipped my Mom's Group meeting (also because they were baking cookies at the church for the bake sale and I'm making Gluten-free ones so I have to do it at home). But she forgot what the burning topic was so we just put out a few tiny embers and then just chit chatted (I guess we are a little bit like corporate-sigh). It actually made me feel pretty good that she forgot why we were meeting, based on my recent executive function skills, or lack thereof. That is until I realized that I do pay her to have them. Ha! But anyhoo, she picked up an early call from a mom who reminded me of the gingerbread house making party she was having at her house. Dangalang I totally forgot about that. Good thing The Elder does well with FUN changes in the schedule. It was like a surprise - and believe it or not, he does like surprises. At least the concept of them. (He's not always keen to "we are having a surprise for lunch" and then it is ground beef or green).

So feeling bad that not only did I not RSVP and downright FORGOT about the event, we didn't participate in the decorating but came for the socialization. It also started at 12:30 and I thought we would leave our house around 1 since she was ordering pizza (of the gluten variety of course) and we would have time to eat at home and get some downtime since the party fell during The Younger's Nap Time and The Elder's Quiet Time (which translates to the computer time).

When we got there, The Elder went straight to the trains and The Younger went straight to the candy, and me? I went straight to the adult interaction. Adult conversation about adult topics. Not about poop or Dora or what toy we can't find because of the holiday scavengers. Ahhhhhh, to feel like a grown up again. That was nice.

This event had the potential of being the social event from hell. There were a million kids there and it was chaotic. I was actually glad we decided to not make a house. Not only were folks fighting over "who has the red frosting can" but we had some "bring it on" moms being a little competitive in their creativity of their "child's" house. It was actually more hilarious than catty, and definitely fun for me playing the observer role.

But to my delight, it was a social gathering from heaven for The Elder. No fighting. No biting. No shoving or pushing. And everytime I looked he was sitting with at least 1 or 2 other little boys playing with the same thing (Cue: Mouth dropping open). I felt a little weird relaxing and enjoying myself, afraid that any minute some kid was going to coming screaming for his mom with his finger pointed at The Elder. But it n.e.v.e.r. happened!

He was so incredibly perfect. I gave him a 10 minute warning before we left and he ran off to play with the kids so fast I wasn't sure he heard me...."Hello?" "OK, OK. 10 minutes." He heard me. Then at the 2-minute warning I thought that I would try to "hurry him along."

"We are leaving in 2 minutes. Would you like to come downstairs and start getting ready." Mimicking that I was putting on a coat.

"No Fanks. I have 2 minutes."

When it was time to go, he said good-bye to his friends (with prompting) and I helped him put on his coat. While I was getting The Younger and myself ready to go, The Elder just stood by the front door, waiting for us. Not entirely patiently as he whines "come on," but hey he IS four.

By the time we were in the car, The Younger was totally hyped up on sugar (a mixture of M&Ms, Smarties, Tootsie Rolls, and a number of things I saw him put into his mouth and spit out again - the grossest of these being partially masticated gum drops. Nasty!). We got in the car and The Elder says "I'm Thirsty!" and The Younger yells out "I'm Tired!" (And he is not getting a nap at all today. Tonight is Date Night with The Hub, so poor AP, or lucky her, because he will go down fast tonight.)

I pass them both juice boxes and The Elder is slurping away. Being high and probably has the shakes and blurry vision, The Younger couldn't get his straw in the box and was pitching a fit. I asked The Elder if he would help his brother with his straw. He stopped sipping for a second, thought about it for a while, then replies...

"No Fanks"

A Big Brothers Rite - Be mean to your siblings. What a ridiculously NORMAL day we've had! Woo Hoo! (I'm knocking on wood!)

Gluten is evil

We've had a pretty good weekend this weekend (until today). Friday is date night and that same day the Hub got us free tickets to the UT basketball game. (He already swung us some free UT vs Vandy football tickets, so I was feeling like I was in grad school again.) Anyhoo, because Friday there was a Eye Dr appt for the Elder at Children's Hospital (downtown), a stranded Hub (downtown), the game (downtown), and date night dinner (possibly downtown), I decided to have The AP take the kids to the Fort Kid playground (downtown) so there wasn't too much driving back and forth and less vehicles being used. The AP dropped me and The Elder off at the hospital, dropped the car key off at the Hub's office, and then took The Younger to Fort Kid. After the Doc appointment (which went great - no additional vision loss and no more patching!!!), The Hub picked up me and The Elder from the hospital and we dropped off The Elder at the playground so we could go to our date night dinner and the game.

A Beautiful Plan. So, I ask, where are we eating? Chesapeake's - yummy - I was so in the mood for steak and seafood. Extravagant but we hadn't had much fancier than Moe's Grill on Date Night in a while. Then I ask, who are we playing tonight? Oh we aren't going to the game. Wha? Then the typical AS explanation that I didn't give him a "Yes, let's go to the game, I'll rearrange the transportation logistics to specifically accommodate that option" type answer that left NO room for interpretation. However, since I'm not a hard core basketball fan, just enjoy watching it, I wasn't too upset, because hey, we were going to have steak and seafood!! Looking at the clock it was not quite 4pm - is the restaurant even open? What are we going to do for a half hour until it opens? Panic...slight change of plans...yes, those freak out adult aspies too.

Just then.....The Hub did something truly Un-Aspergian......spontaneous......and a major change of plans......"It's early, let's drive to Sevierville." WOW! I really felt young and free now. (I wonder how long he's kept that option in his back pocket for a moment just like this?) We drove through the mountains to the next city over that is known for it's outlet malls. We went to Conner's for steak and seafood, did some shopping for the kids (yes I guess we are still parents), and came back home.

So let me get back on track with the title of this post. At Conner's the waitress brings us some rolls. Boy they look good. And they smelled so yummy. But being the good gluten-free role models we are, we passed and put the plate very far from temptation. (I didn't do so well with the casein free - I had both drawn butter with the crab legs AND got a slice of fudge.)

Then on Saturday, it was the first football game either of us had been to since graduating. (College kids look sooooooooooooooooooo young! geez!) Our former tradition was to get a Touchdown Frank or two because they were amazingly tasty. But seeing that they were no longer in the same packaging (used to be in paper-foil, now they were in non-biodegradable, bird-killing plastic tube bags that we could see floating around in the stadium), we convinced ourselves they wouldn't be as tasty and again exercised restraint and got popcorn.

By Saturday evening and getting stuck in post games traffic, we really wanted to sit and eat and let some traffic subside. So we went to our fave little Thai hole in the wall for sushi and pad thai. Yes we know, the soy sauce has a trace amount of gluten, but that is not what was evil. It was the bowl of fried Wontons that they put in front of us. When did this start?? Thai cuisine was the one place that we didn't feel the temptation!! But the table was small, the service was slow, and the bowl seems to gravitate to our fingers. I literally only had 4-5 and started with small ones. The result? I have slept all day today and have been cranky during the waking moments. I missed church, a baby shower, and the last day of my bible study. And I don't even want to think about putting up the Christmas tree like we planned to do today. Maybe I'll have another cup of coffee to get me through these last hours of the day.....

What were we putting in our mouths?

This is a timeline journal post.

We first learned about gluten back in June 2007 after his evaluation, but before we got the results and diagnosis. A friend of mine was telling me how her friend has a son with ADHD and had been on meds since he was 5. He told his mom "those pills make me sad." (This is heartbreaking because think of the nonverbal kids who are on these meds, or even my verbal son who can't describe his feelings and emotions.) He currently is 13 and takes no medication because his mom changed his diet.

So we thought, it wouldn't hurt to try it. If I can find the picture the Hub took of everything we had to pull out of our pantry I will post it. Our counters looked like a grocery store aisle. Our whole family went on the diet. For me, it really was to support the Hub since he would benefit from this diet as well. If we could get it out of the house, we can't cheat! Besides, if it would bring focus like it claims to, then I was all for trying it.

In September 2007, during our evaluation with the School System, the psychologist asked if we were seeing a difference in the Elder since the diet. And I really couldn't say yes or no, because I did a poor job documenting it, so I said no. Then the Jenny McCarthy era came. And she raved about the gfcf diet. We had considered taking casein out of the diet but really dragged on that because we all looooooooooooooooooooooooooove cheese and those substitutes just aren't the same. When Jenny said that her son's vocabulary doubled and he become more affectionate, I started realizing that I had noticed the same thing in the Elder. So we went ahead and took the plunge and took the casein out. Macaroni and Cheese just isn't the same, but we have finally found a great cheese.

About 6 weeks later to now, I'm seeing what I believe are the effects of removing the casein (if anyone can back me up on this based on your experience I'd be grateful) in his digestive system which seems to be getting closer to regular. He also doesn't whine or groan as much (which might have been from tummy aches from not eliminating). He also is eating. Today I didn't have to tell him twice to eat, nor did I have to tell him to finish. Maybe he doesn't have the full feeling? He has been playing with his brother a lot lately, as in he would start it. His pretending has increased tenfold. His conversations are conversations and not 21 questions.

He had a little allergy episode with the classic runny nose and watery eyes. The next day I ask him, "How's your nose?"
He checks to see if it is running and then says, "It's better."

To a typical family that might sound mundane, but I was mouth hanging open shocked at his response. About a week ago, this is how that conversations would have gone:
"How's your nose?" (no answer) "Look at me because I'm asking you a question." (darting eyes) "Is your nose better?"
Finally an answer, "Yes."

He has learned the phrase, "Want to join us?" (and says it ALL the time. cute) And the other day he accidentally knocked the Younger down (usually it in intentional - sensory-related someone said to me) and he stopped and went back and asked him if he was OK. I feel closer to him than I ever have.

I can't believe the progress he had made speech-wise since he's been at the new school. He also seems calmer. He's still having some self-control problems at school, but come-on, that is like Stimulation-Mart.

So now, on a slightly different perspective. What has this diet done to the rest of us?
For the Younger, I haven't really seen a difference. He's always been regular, he's always been affectionate, so I couldn't use those as litmus tests. He is talking more and in sentences, but then again he is 2 and that is what 2 year olds do!

For the Hub, he got a PR for his marathon time. Here is the excerpt on his diet...

What I Learned

So even though I didn’t eat enough on race day, I think the oveall change in my diet this year made up some of the difference on Saturday. One key thing to my diet has been drinking a vitamin enriched smoothie every morning consisting of Flax Oil (Omega 3,6&9), Frozen Blueberries, Soy Milk, and the Vitamin Smoothie Powder. Since I have been on the Gluten Free diet, my snacking has dropped some. Where I might have 2 donuts in the morning 2-3 times a week, I don’t do that anymore and some of the gluten food that is here at work are left untouched by me. Don’t get me wrong, I still eat my fair share of candy bars and other taste-good-bad-for-you stuff, it’s just now, I am more conscious about it.

For me, I personally look at a piece of cake or a biscuit or a pizza or any indulgent food that contains gluten, and almost immediately turned off (unless it has chocolate, then I waiver back and forth). When I eat gluten now, I literally become a zombie. One day I slept for 16 hours. Luckily it was a Saturday and the Hub was on kid duty. So now I think twice before I consider putting something in my mouth.

But I do have more energy, I lost about 5 pounds (finally got rid of my pregnancy neck without the exercise!), I drink my coffee black now which makes me feel very "grown up" hahaha, I eat much healthier, we save money by not eating out as much (and calories),

However, our grocery bill has not been pretty...

Reclaiming Control

One of the problems that teacher explained and Super Doc confirmed is that we give Eric too many choices. So one of the strategies is to take control away from him which countered some parenting books I had read. But their explanation made it make more sense. We were not doing him any favors by making him believe that he has total control. Even though the choices would only lead to the behavior or answer that I wanted, he still (in his little 4yo mind) believes that he "won." He is expected to honor my decisions, respect adults, and learn to wait and earn and still not always get what he wants. Sounds realistic and smart. She said that is true for any child and is not autism related which relieved me because I can't stand having to stop and think which child I am dealing with and which strategy I need to use. Besides, Ryan is a much bigger control freak than Eric. So I actually have used more of the tips on the Younger!! And guess what? They worked!

They also worked on Eric and it was great to have power again. That sense of helplessness of not knowing what to do when he does this or does that is subsiding. Using the same jargon that Teacher uses really is effective. I mean I said, "No that's not right, Try Again" and he looked at me kinda puzzled as if I was supposed to morph into his teacher and he was waiting for it. And when I repeated the direction, he did it. Cool.

She also gave me permission to not be too strict with the "military" schedule (though with the Hub we still have to be pretty checklisty in 15-minute intervals). For example, just because the routine is to eat Lunch, it doesn't have to be at 12:16pm. We were trying to feed him at the "normal" lunch hour with so much resistance. He wouldn't sit still or sit up, he wouldn't feed himself, he would put the food in his cheek and chew it so slowly like cud or something. It would take forever for him to finish. Teacher said, that he really is getting 2 directions when we say "Sit down and eat." And if he doesn't sit down, then he doesn't eat. Hmmmmm. She said if he is hungry then he will sit down and eat. So today I asked him if he was hungry when he got off the bus (or rather I carried him off because he fell asleep again) and he said no. I said ok I'll ask you again in an hour, but if you don't eat then, you cannot eat until dinner because I want you to have an appetite. I fell asleep on the couch next to him and woke up to him running into the kitchen "stealing" a juice box. Which was fine actually because I originally thought it was a lollipop that he got from his halloween box. I said, "you can have this, but sit at the table and I'll get your lunch." He did it on the first request. Then he says, "I want a sandwich - just like Todd has." First of all I'm thinking Who's Todd? Then I'm thinking, Eric hates sandwiches - too many things touching. But I (with much power and control) say to him, "That is a good idea for another day, but today you are having spaghetti." And there was a sweet sound after that. Silence. No "Why?" No avoidant whining. Not a sound. I gave him his plate, a fork, and put the straw in his juice box and then he did a wonderful thing. He ate. Not only did he eat, but he fed himself. Not only did he feed himself (with minimal food spillage), but he ate in a pretty timely fashion without his cud technique. He didn't finish, but I think his portions are too big anyway. When he started getting distracted, I asked him 2 times if he was finished and 2 times he said yes. Then I said I was going to put his food away and he said OK. If he was really not hungry anymore, he would have not wanted me to put it away.

Was it really that simple? An hour of TV (in which I got a nap!) saved us from a struggle at eating time. Geez. He was totally cooperative.

Something entertaining Teacher mentioned was how children with Aspergers do not like to stop something in the middle of it (game, activity, TV show, etc). He has to have closure. To not have an end is like cutting off his arm - it is not complete and creates stress and anxiety and meltdowns. She said if I were to bury his hands in the sand, he would freak out because he would think his hands disappeared. What was fascinating about that was just earlier this week I was wearing a frumpy sweatshirt and because I was cold, I had my hands tucked in to my sleeves and he totally f.r.e.a.k.e.d. o.u.t. Now I know why! She also suggested that that might have something to do with his aversion to buttons (er, buttonholes) and rivets in his clothing, but it was too early for her to tell. But I'm sure Terry will be devising cruel and unusual effective tricks treatments to poke fun of desensitize his fear for entertainment purposes.

The wheels on the bus go...zzzzzzzzzzzzz

School is back in session after the fall break and Eric started riding the bus home this week. It was a weird transition for me. At 10:30 I felt like I needed to be leaving to go get him and then the agony of waiting for the bus to arrive was torment. I spoke with the bus driver late last week just to confirm everything and she quoted an ETA of about 11:35am. Now I understand that everyday is different because not every child is full time like Eric is. Even the little girl in the neighborhood only goes Mon and Wed. But at 11:45 I started to panic. I mean, surely someone would have called me if he was still at the school waiting for me to pick him up, or if the bus was late leaving, or whatever. I sat there with my phone in one hand and the bus drivers number in the other, staring out the window. I hear a "noise" that sounded very bus-like and I expected a yellow thing to round the corner, but it was the lawn people instead. So at 11:50 I broke down and called her. I didn't really know what to say: this is a crazy, panicky mom who's freaking out about inadvertently abandoning her son?

"Hi, this is Eric's Mom (where is my son????). I was expecting him around 11:30, is everything alright?"

I think I sounded calm, I'll have to ask Cris to verify that. They were about 10 minutes away. She said she had a new student to drop off. She seems very nice. Eric was zonked out. I had to board the bus and unbuckle him and carry him inside. It was a little sad that he missed his first bus ride. He did have a full weekend of Halloween events, and I'm sure the extra sugar had nothing to do with it either. =o) Oh and they accidentally gave him animal cookies in Sunday School - of the gluten variety. I'll have to remember to pack special snacks for church.

Today was the second day and he was awake and actually came out himself after the driver unbuckled him. I think he was very happy and feeling like a "big boy."

Backtracking to this weekend, church was a great experience. We started going to the early service to stay aligned with the military schedule. We've been parking in the back and taking the back door to the gym (which bypasses the nursery and classrooms) and both of them stayed for the entire service for the first time! Terry did have to take them to the bathroom twice because (well, Eric had to pee the first time, and I was afraid that Ryan would pitch a fit to not be included so I sent him as well) Ryan was getting upset because Eric was taking his "papel." Which he wasn't, but Ryan decided to throw things anyway, loudly declaring "mine, mine, mine". He hauled back to throw his (full) sippy cup and you could feel the panic between me and Terry as we look forward to 2 rows of several silver-haired couples. That thing could easily cause a concussion, especially with his larger than life strength. We are trying to de-cup him and that is making the tantrum worse (during the sermon) so we both let go and stopped trying and just sort of hovered our arms around him in ready-mode anticipating the launch. Right when I relaxed thinking he had changed his mind (luckily Terry stayed uptight about it), he threw the cup and Terry tipped it so it didn't land on a head, but it did land on the empty metal seat in front of us and made a beautiful crashing sound (during the sermon) that seems to forever echo in the gym (during the sermon). So I sent them all to the bathroom (which is still in the gym). Sat there alone waiting for my heart to slow down, repeating "I don't need anyone's approval but God's," then trying to get something out of the message (which was the Success Quote). BUT it truly was a great experience...it was the first time we didn't have to take them to the nursery in the middle of the service. Next week we will try to bring more things to occupy them. Eric did fabulous. I prepped him before the prayer to be quiet, he didn't cover his ears during the songs, he didn't even complain about being in there (as opposed to playing with the toys in the nursery). I wonder if the casein removal has anything to do with this.

Also, Newsflash, Eric rode a horse BY HIMSELF! Well, there was a lady walking the horse around in a circle but he was solo on its back. Ryan wouldn't even consider it until I got on first. I guess he thought it would be safer, however, he didn't hold on to the saddle the whole time! He has also worn his Halloween costume EVERYDAY since Sunday when he donned it on for the first time for the church's trunk or treat event. Do I really need to tell you what Eric was dressed as?

Pictures to come....