"Are you kidding me?"

This was the response from my brother after I asked, "Is there a Starbucks in town?"

I wasn't sure if it was "duh, there are Starbucks everywhere" answer, or if it was "we don't have anything in our dinky town" answer. It was the latter. We didn't plan our consumption very well on this trip. We assumed way too much, so our food routine has been off the last 24 hours. Actually our whole routine is but I figured, better to do this on a trip AWAY from home than in our own home. No blender for The Hub's daily smoothies. Because tax is cheaper in SC (like by 5%!) we decided to wait until we got here to purchase groceries since we get the organic-gluten-free-casein-free-costs-an-arm-and-a-leg brands and every little bit helps. So we had very little food to choose from. We found a KFC during the trip and peeled off the breading to get it as gluten-reduced as possible. (Here's a picture of The Younger discovering he like corn-on-the-cob. Was NOT a fun diaper to change later especially since I didn't think about bringing a sprayer.) We made a box of hash browns for breakfast and noticed in the ingredients that there is wheat flour in it (I guess to keep the potatoes from sticking together). The kids have been super hyper today and I looked at The Hub saying "no more gluten for them." He laments, "why does gluten turn us into zombies and they go freakin' crazy?" Well, The Lola (my mom) only knew of one place to go (because we scoped 2 grocery stores in town that had nothing organic, much less gluten-free) and we stocked up on some goods for the kids that they (and we) can handle.

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So we come in yesterday and The Elder goes crazy running around the house. He goes up to The Lola and says in shock and awe, "You got TWO uv em???? One over there and one over there?" I realized he was speaking of TVs. We only have one TV upstairs in our house and we have taken the the cable out of the wall. So they had 2 channels going simultaneously on ABC family watching The Incredibles and USA watching Christmas Vacation so that those in the kitchen were bombarded by clashing noises. This morning, we were serenaded by Spongebob at breakfast. I looked at The Hub and said, we have got to buy some toys to lure these kids away from the tube. So we went out today and got these.



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The Kiddos immediately took ALL (all 832 of them) the throw pillows off the couches and onto the floors. This is acceptable in our house because we have crappy furniture. My parents however have really nice furniture, the kind I'd like to have one day when I grow up. The Lola was hilarious when she decided, "Maybe tomorrow I'll have to establish some house rules." I interjected, "Maybe now?"

"Rule #1: Pillows are not toys."

So The Hub made a sign and taped it onto the oven and printed that for The Elder to read.

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Today was the first time The Younger met his cousins and the first time The Elder noticed them. Collectively, they are ages 2, 4, 6, and 8. Isn't that cute? (Since there are more of them, I couldn't called them The Cousin.) Well, The 8yo announces "I have glasses now....Are yours as bendy as mine?" and then later over dinner he looks at me and proclaims, "did you know that animals are connected to sound waves?" So the smarty pants are obviously hand-me-downs, except each kid keeps the smarts before passing it on. The Elder isn't that great with names yet until after the 2nd or 3rd meeting so as he was calling after them "Hey, 2 guys...." and then later trying to get The 6yo's attention, he calls after him, "Hey....the one with the no tooth." I thought I would die laughing.

The 6yo With No Tooth shares The Younger's love for bananas. We don't understand why he put it on his head. I think The Younger has a classic sensory look on his face as that peel gets a little too close to his face. Here you can see The Elder indulging his most recent compulsion, flipping the light switches on and off.

"Rule #2: Light switches are not toys."

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"We need a napkin." (uh-oh)
"What happened?"
"He has tomato on his shirt."

My immediate thought was bloody nose, then worse I thought about the bottle of ketchup on the table. But then I see The 8yo With The Bendy Glasses with a whole Cosco-sized container of cherry tomatoes, feeding them to The Elder.

"Don't be eating those on the couch!!" (remember, it's nice furniture.) At least he got the Elder eating tomatoes, um, unless he spit them out and that is why it was on his shirt. The Hub thought ahead while he was in there, and removed the squeeze bottle of potentially projectile ketchup from the table while reciting, the next rule...

"Rule #3: Tomatoes are not toys."

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Off to deal with totally overstimulated kids...

7 Responses to ""Are you kidding me?""

Anonymous (visit their site)

Happy Christmas and love to you all - we're a bit ahead in time and already celebrating!
xx

tulipmom (visit their site)

I'm laughing at the "Hey 2 guys" and "Hey the one with no tooth." That is so something SB would do. It's taken a good 2 months for him to finally know the names of all the kids in his new classroom.

A Merry (and calmer)day to all of you!

Susan (visit their site)

Hi -- I can't read this post, or any of the others, because the left sidebar now spills on top! Bummer!

Jen P (visit their site)

Susan, click to post a comment and the click on "Show Original Post" at the top of the page to read. Sorry about that. I've had one other reader have the same problem on her computer and this is the quick fix I made for her. I'll think of something else soon...

Marla (visit their site)

Merry Christmas! No Starbucks? Ahhhhhh! How do they survive?! Sounds like you are having a non stop fun time! Enjoy!

Niksmom (visit their site)

Oh good God, you have to go through that with NO Starbuck's?! ;-) Um, so how many signs have you posted with new rules? This post made me giggle...a lot!

Susan (visit their site)

This is so entertaining! I am filing all of this away for when I am a mom one day. When I grow up.