Without giving my own opinion, I would like to see how others react to this statement...
"Everything happens for a reason."
I heard interesting points of view and I would like to hear other honest opinions about this. Maybe I'll even give something away. If you know someone with an opinion (hard to come by, I know), please forward to them. I do not judge anyone, but if you want to answer anonymously please do.
What is your school of thought?
Posted by Jen P
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10 Responses to "What is your school of thought?"
I don't think everything happens for a reason. But I do think that you can come out of the other end with something good. A friend of ours has a son who was diagnosed with leukemia at 6 months old. I do not think that God planned that. I don't think there was a specific reason for E to get so sick. But I do know that now that they are mostly out the other side, they have found so much GOOD in that experience. So does that mean he was supposed to get so sick (he's post transplant now - a healthy almost-4 year old)
And my thoughts go so deep here that I may not be able to convey the whole thing in a comment ;o)
The reason I have trouble with the statement itself is that it speaks to fate - but not just fate but lack of choice. What will be will be. I do believe that there are some things that are 'fate-ed' to happen, but not the way we get there. I don't think that life is one big script and we are just blindly following along. And some days I don't think even that much is true ;o)
I wonder if I'm making sense to others or if I'm mushing up my ideas here.
I don't believe everything happens for a reason. I think that statement is used so we can try to make sense of the things we can't explain.
Life is way too complicated to be wrapped up in a tidy little explanation. I think it speaks to whether you believe you have choices, whether you can steer your own destiny. And I believe we always have a choice. If not in the action itself, then in our reaction to it.
Everything happens for a reason is just way too neat and simple for the world we live in--and it justifies not taking an active role in what happens to us or the people around us.
I don't believe Every. Single. Thing. happens for a reason. There is much that I throw in the category of Total Senselessness. There is no Why that can make sense of it.
In my life, I do look for the Reasons though. On a grand scheme - why does my daughter have SPD and a Language Delay - I don't care so much. I've moved into acceptance.
But when I can find little connections to help make sense of what seems like an awful situation - I like that. It makes me feel connected to the Universe/God.
I generally agree with the statement, although I believe that it is often hard to see WHY some things must happen, and they are often unpleasant and unfair.
But I firmly believe that God does not give us more than we can handle.
OK, so maybe I dislike the statement!
I am in line with Susan on this one. I think everything happens for a reason, we may never know what the reason is and I belive many things are not for us to understand or know.
I believe in God so I find it comforting to think that God has a handle on everything even when I feel like my whole world is spinning out of control. I think I have been at my closest to God through my own suffering.
It seems to me that most people who say this lovely line to me however are trying to over simplify a situation. When someone says this to me, "Everything happens for a reason". I don't feel a comfy and cozy, all lovey dovey when they say it. I ususally feel that the person is trying to wrap up all of my situation and in other words is telling me, "Get over it! Move on! It happened!" Or, "Oh, my God if I have to hear you talk about this one more time I am going to freak out."
So....it could be my own sensitivity to this comment distorting someone who is really trying to be comforting. I really don't think so though. Even at funerals which is where I have heard this comment the most....my skin crawls. I guess the bottom line is there is nothing comforting about the saying. It seems to serve no purpose and offer me nothing to go on. What reason? You never hear anyone say anything after they say this comment. They offer no decent reasoning so why even say it in the first place??
It sounds like something my mother in law would have said to me in a not so nice way. Maybe that is why I don't like it. ;)
I wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason. There have been so many things that have happened in my life that I thought were impossible to overcome, but when I look back at those times I realize that I would not be where I am or who I am without those times.
You can still choose how you handle things, good or bad. Those choices will either direct you to the right path or delay you in finding your direction.
I don't believe in pre-destination, but I do think God equips us with the strength needed to face challenges and that He gives us other people in our path to help us through tough times.
Great post! Really got my noggin' working! :)
I believe there are no coincidences and that certain things are supposed to happen. For example I believe my mom getting cancer and dying happened for many reasons and was perfect. Just the same as I think my son being so sick and covered in a rash his first 18 months happened for many reasons. Both of their illnesses catapulted our family into action to be healthy, rekindle our spirituality, and helped me to find my calling. I'd give it up if it meant I could have my mom back but I know she wouldn't want that.
I believe in my heart that God does not make anything bad happen but I do think sometimes He needs to get our attention. Each challenge we face is an opportunity to grow and to heal into the beings that God intended for us to be.
I believe that we are here in life on a journey... we have choices that can take us on different paths through our journey, like Gwendolyn said "you can still choose how you handle things, good or bad. Those choices will either direct you to the right path or delay you in finding your direction." - but there really are no coincidences in all of this.
Like Susan, I believe that God does not give us more than we can handle, but we are presented with things in life to challenge us, and to help us learn more about ourselves and hence grow as individuals.
Life certainly throws us some curve balls at times - and yes they definitely turn our lives upside down, but I think we get things that make us who we are. We all have a purpose, and I think sometimes we have what we have in order for us to truly be who we are supposed to be.
I would not be half the person I am today if I had not faced both the good and the bad that I have throughout my life... and yes, for a reason.
xx
I always say the phrase (to myself and others) everything happens for a reason. So my instinct was that yes, I beleive it. But after reading some of the comments posted here, I can understand the other side of that. First, I am a Christian and I believe God has a purpose for each of us, but that doesn't always mean we are fulfilling that purpose. So I think that our choices determine if we make the most out of this life. So I guess I believe that there are things that happen for a reason (out of our control) and also that reasons come from what happens (in our control.
My opinion about this statement is that it is not merely cliché…for me, it is truth. I believe that there are lessons to be learned in all experiences, whether we label the experience good or bad. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, so I personally don’t often see or understand the reasons “in the moment.” Inevitably, once I look back (…if I’ve paid attention!), I can connect experiences, which leads me to understanding, and hopefully, a life lesson is learned.
It is definitely a matter of personal perspective, because there are lots of valid points and concerns in the other comments. I am the mother of two special needs children, and from one perspective I could ask myself, “why are they having to struggle like this?” Instead, I believe our true home is with God and our existence here in the physical world is much like “school.” Now, when one is choosing a school from which to gain the best possible knowledge, do you choose a mediocre school? No, you choose the most challenging school you can handle in order to get the best “education” you can. That’s how I view our physical world – the best college there is. You can’t argue that we get amazingly tough challenges and “tests” here! Yet, as Abbie so eloquently put it…”Each challenge we face is an opportunity to grow and to heal into the beings that God intended for us to be.” I truly agree…and in my opinion, we are each working on our own individual lessons. Hence the diversity of challenges people of all ages are facing.
I’m also intrigued by Abbie’s perspective that the challenges she has been presented with are “perfect.” I have a similar belief that God’s world is perfect, “good” and “bad.” It’s a world of dualities: night and day, cold and hot, sadness and joy, and on and on. I believe all of my experiences are opportunities to learn to give and receive Divine Love…they all happen for a reason.
Thanks, Jen P, for a provocative and “dialogue-inspiring” post. Love You!
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